


Heaven

by TeamDamon



Series: Before I Go [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: A lot of sex, Bearded Steve Rogers, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bottom Steve Rogers, Explicit Sexual Content, God these two idiots have ruined me, M/M, Post Civil War, Pre-Infinity War, Sex, Stucky in Wakanda, Switching, Thank you Russos for giving us fans two years of pre-IW Stucky to play with, Top Bucky Barnes, Top Steve Rogers, all the feels too, all the sex, but mostly bottom Bucky, happy healthy farmer Bucky and his goats
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-05-21 15:27:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 33,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14917931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamDamon/pseuds/TeamDamon
Summary: On the other side of the world, safe and sound within the most secure borders on earth, Bucky was awake and alive and no longer a danger to himself or others. And within the next 24 hours, Steve would be there with him.He couldn't wait._____Steve, Bucky, and their blissful visits in Wakanda before yet another war came and tore them apart again.





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a follow up to my twoshot Daybreak, and if you don't wanna read that first, all you really need to know is Steve and Bucky started to get a bit closer prior to Bucky's going under at the end of Civil War. Everything is canon aside from a few very light prior sexytimes. 
> 
> My thanks to MorningGlory2 and Midnightwings96 for their irreplaceable help and feedback and my heartfelt thanks to any and all who take the time to read this story. I've got half of the next part done already and when it's finished I'm gonna post a drabble series to fill in the blanks, so I really hope you guys like this because I've got lots more coming :)

He got the message late at night, after another secret mission that hadn't gone quite as planned. Holed up in a cheap inn on the outskirts of a town whose name he barely remembered in a corner of the earth he'd previously never set foot in, Steve was busy wincing as Natasha cleaned a wound on the back of his shoulder when the distinct chirp of one of several phones lying nearby made them both pause and look up.   
  
"Which one's that?" Natasha asked curiously, dropping a handful of gauze into a small bin next to the bed they were sitting on.   
  
Steve's hand darted out and seized the phone, his heart leaping into his throat as he quickly opened the new message. "T'Challa."  
  
Behind him, Natasha smiled to herself and looked down, not needing to see his face to know exactly what it looked like in that exact moment. She knew full well that Steve had been waiting for this message for some time, ever since she had joined him on these covert missions a few months back, and she was happy for him that it had finally come. He deserved it.   
  
She pressed a clean bandage to his shoulder wound and asked lightly, "Good news?"  
  
"Yeah," he replied quietly, his growing smile audible in his tone. "Bucky's... they did it. He's awake, he's..."  
  
Natasha closed the first aid kit and set it aside, giving Steve a pat on his back where he wasn't bruised as she slipped to her feet. He smiled up at her as she walked by, and it struck her that it was the first time she'd seen him truly smile in ages. _How about that._ She smiled back and murmured, "Guess that means you've got somewhere to be."  
  
Next to them, on the other small bed, Sam grumbled against the mattress his face was pressed to. "Steve gets a luxury vacation to Wakanda and we get more roach motels. I see how it is."  
  
"We'll be fine," Nat told Steve with a roll of her eyes. "You should go. We'll let you know when we get a location on the next target."  
  
Steve smiled at her gratefully, a spark of hope lighting up his blue eyes as Sam rolled over and flung an arm over his eyes.   
  
"Tell Tin Man I said hi and to kiss my ass," Sam muttered. "Probably kicking back in the palace right now, that greasy haired son of a b-"  
  
"Hey now," Natasha playfully interrupted. "Maybe we'll get to hitch a ride next time around."  
  
"Of course," Steve nodded. "Thank you. Both of you."  
  
Sam gave a weary salute and Natasha smiled, heading towards the bathroom for a much needed shower. "I look forward to hearing all about the dramatic reunion."  
  
Excitement raced through Steve's veins and he grinned down at the phone in his hands as he quickly typed a response back to his friend. He never thought that this would have happened so fast, and in fact, in some of his lower moments, he had feared it would never happen at all. That there would be no cure and no fix for the programming that Bucky had endured and retained from Hydra, that he would either have to stay in stasis or live in fear for the rest of his days. But thanks to what he now knew beyond a single doubt was the most brilliant mind in all the world... now those fears were gone.   
  
On the other side of the world, safe and sound within the most secure borders on earth, Bucky was awake and alive and no longer a danger to himself or others. And within the next 24 hours, Steve would be there with him.   
  
He couldn't wait. 

* * *

  
  
"I can't thank you enough for all of this," Steve told T'Challa as he followed the king down a hill, towards the reason behind his unexpected visit to Wakanda. The air was warm and humid and clean, cleaner than any that Steve had ever breathed before, and just the environment  alone was enough to put his so often-frayed nerves at ease. "Knowing that he was here and safe in good hands... I owe you."  
  
T'Challa shrugged him off as he continued to lead Steve along down the path through the hills. "Your friend, he says the same things. I offered him his choice of living arrangements, even the palace if it would give him peace of mind as he recovers, but he refused."  
  
"He's always been stubborn," Steve replied with a faint smile. "What'd he end up agreeing to?"  
  
"This," T'Challa replied, gesturing to a portion of land down at the bottom of the hill and now within sight. Steve took it in as T'Challa explained, "He said he wanted to work for his place among us, pull his own weight. The owner of this land recently passed with no children to leave it to. He is learning how to care for it."  
  
Steve's brows inched up as he noted the goats that were grazing on the land surrounding the humble little hut, snacking on hay that came from nearby bales and enjoying the sunshine. "Bucky's learning how to _farm_?"  
  
T'Challa smiled at Steve's slightly flummoxed reaction. "I'm told he has very good teachers. In fact," he pointed to a neighboring property where three children were running about and playing and engaging in what appeared to be a mock sword fight, "I believe they are the ones showing him."  
  
Steve huffed out a laugh. So Bucky was living on a farm, learning from neighboring children how to care for the animals and the land and taking an entirely new approach to life and work. It wasn't what Steve expected but he liked it, liked the idea of Bucky taking on something like that and hopefully finding some purpose and fulfillment in it. It was so much better than what he'd had in Romania, so much better than what Steve had feared his life would be like until T'Challa had stepped in and offered a place of refuge and healing. He wasn't sure that he'd ever been more grateful to any other person than he was to T'Challa. It was a debt he'd never be able to truly repay.  
  
Once they arrived on the little farm, the kids noticed the two visitors and dropped their sword-sticks and came running. T'Challa chuckled and greeted them with hugs and words spoken in Xhosa while Steve offered them a smile and a wave in lieu of any English greetings, assuming they wouldn't understand. But his assumption was proven wrong when the smallest little boy peered up at him and asked, "Who are you?"  
  
"This is a guest of ours, just like your new friend," T'Challa replied, a tilt of his head gesturing to Bucky's hut.   
  
The child glanced at the hut and then back to Steve. "You are the White Wolf's friend?"  
  
_White Wolf?_ Steve thought with slight confusion before glancing at T'Challa, who merely shrugged. Going with the flow, he nodded to the kid and held out his hand. "Yeah. I'm Steve Rogers."  
  
The boy looked at his hand for a moment and then grabbed it, turning it upright with his palm facing out. Steve expected some kind of unique greeting, an alternative to the handshake that he offered, but instead the kid just gave him an exuberant high five and then dissolved into laughter at Steve's surprised expression. The kid then ran off with the others, the three of them deep in chatter, and T'Challa laughed at Steve's slightly bewildered face.   
  
"They are discussing what name to give _you_ ," T'Challa explained to Steve, resuming their walk to Bucky's new residence. "They take this very seriously."  
  
Steve was on the verge of asking about the wolf nickname but then his eyes caught movement from just behind the hut and he forgot about everything else but the figure slowly coming their way, growing more visible with each step. Steve didn't realize how much his own steps slowed down but T'Challa did, glancing curiously at him as Bucky came into view.   
  
He was dressed light and casually in dark pants and a light tunic style shirt, open at the top with the sleeves ripped off, or at least the visible one on the right. His left was obscured by a dark blue scarf tied around his neck that draped over his shoulder and what was left of his arm. His hair was still long, a little longer than Steve remembered, half of it pulled back and out of his face, and in his right hand was a bucket of water that was carrying on his way back towards the goats. He stopped dead in his tracks the moment he glanced up and saw Steve and T'Challa standing there.  
  
Steve didn't stop walking. In fact, his steps picked up and a smile broke across his face as he watched Bucky first blink, then blink again, then finally start smiling himself as he set down the water bucket and started moving again. Steve was only vaguely aware of T'Challa falling a bit behind on purpose, letting them have their moment as they closed the distance between them and Bucky grinned, "Well... I wasn't expecting _this_ today."  
  
Steve grinned back and reached out and pulled Bucky in, hugging him close and tight and instantly feeling more whole than he had in months, ever since he'd left Bucky there and watched him go back into cryo. Ever since the night before that when he had woken up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and Bucky had comforted him and...  
  
He held Bucky a little tighter, nose buried in his hair and the embrace lasting entirely too long but he didn't care. Bucky didn't seem to mind either, holding him just as closely and resting his chin on Steve's shoulder as Steve murmured near his ear, " _God_ I'm glad to see you."  
   
"Me too," Bucky replied quietly, glancing up and noticing T'Challa watching. Bucky mouthed his thanks to him and T'Challa nodded, and it was only a few seconds later that Steve seemed to catch himself and slowly pull away from the lingering embrace.   
  
"You look good," Steve said, his words and tone casual but a prickle of anxiety making itself known once he'd said it. He knew it was silly - nothing between them had changed, but he couldn't help but be more aware of himself now, after the way they'd parted last time.   
  
Bucky scoffed, glancing down at his clothes. "I'm a mess." Then he glanced up at Steve and grinned. "You really did grow a beard, huh?"  
  
Steve shrugged, smile lingering and eyes falling to the ground for just a moment. "Thought I'd give it a try."  
  
"Looks good on you," Bucky nodded, eyes sweeping from the beard to Steve's blue eyes a few times. "Didn't think you _could_ grow one."  
  
Steve tilted his head slightly and narrowed his eyes as if to say _hey_ , and behind them T'Challa cleared his throat before saying, "I'll let you two catch up. If either of you need anything," he began to turn to leave, "my door is open."  
  
"Thank you," Steve nodded, gratefulness evident in his eyes and his tone. T'Challa nodded back and began walking back up the hill, and now that they were alone, Steve turned back to Bucky and smiled. "So. You're a farmer now."  
  
Bucky shook his head, pushing his hair behind his ears and glancing towards the goats as he replied, "I'm trying to get the hang of it. Don't wanna screw it up."  
  
"Looks like you're doing pretty good," Steve replied, looking around. "Is it relaxing? Seems like it might be."  
  
"Yeah," Bucky smiled, remembering what he'd been doing before Steve had shown up and taking a few steps back to retrieve the water bucket. "Definitely better than any job I've had in the last 70 years."  
  
Steve nodded and smiled back, hands sliding into the pockets of his jeans as he followed just behind Bucky. "It's beautiful here."  
  
"Yeah," Bucky agreed, squinting up towards the warm sun as a squawking bird flew overheard towards the thicket of trees to the right of the farm. "Never seen any place like this before. And the people," he glanced towards the kids across the way, back to waging mock war, "I know I don't deserve it but they're so fucking nice and generous. Don't know what to do with myself half the time."  
  
"You do deserve it," Steve told him. Bucky looked at him in a slightly weary, mostly affectionate sort of way, like he'd never quite believe him but was maybe ready to accept his ridiculous sentiments and stop arguing with them. Then he turned back to the task at hand, stepping amongst the noisy and apparently friendly goats as he refilled their water for them.   
  
One goat, the smallest one of the bunch and a light tan color, bumped its little head into Bucky's head until he gave it a pet, muttering, "Yeah, yeah, you dumb fucker, I hear you. Fucking brat."  
  
Steve leaned against the fencing and chuckled. "Is that his name?"  
  
"Pretty much," Bucky nodded over his shoulder, still patting the little guy. "He's stupid and constantly trying to get himself killed. But he's real sweet and pretty cute, so... he's my favorite." Bucky shot Steve a funny little smile and it suddenly dawned on Steve that Bucky was comparing him to a goat. An apparently quite dumb but adorable little runt of a goat.   
  
Steve was pretty sure that he should have been offended, but all it did was make him feel even warmer inside. He grinned back and then Bucky got back to work, walking to the other end of the fenced area to grab more hay.   
  
Bucky seemed so at ease, so relaxed, so much healthier and more whole than Steve remembered. Having control of his mind and confidence within it had worked wonders for him, without a doubt. And it looked incredible on him.   
  
When Bucky came back around, his animals taken care of for the time being, he started walking towards the hut and Steve fell into step at his side. "So what was it like?" Steve asked gently. "Waking up and... Shuri doing whatever she did to fix you."  
  
Bucky hesitated only for a few seconds before replying quietly, "Well... it was... a lot different from all the other times I woke up. This time I woke up warm in a bed instead of being picked up and dragged off to..." He trailed off and Steve didn't press him to finish, didn't want him to relive things that were best left in the past. "This time it was okay. Felt okay. And the procedure sounded scary as hell when she explained it but I didn't feel any of it. And it was fast, too. I don't know how she did it."  
  
"She's amazing," Steve agreed, wondering if Shuri would start disliking him if he hugged her any more than he already had. Before T'Challa had led him to the farm, Steve had met them at the palace and had already squeezed the life out of the princess in an attempt to convey how very grateful he was to her. She had laughed and pushed him off after it began to get ridiculous, telling him to stop before her lungs collapsed.   
  
"And she's just a kid," Bucky marveled. "Guess she was just born a genius."  
  
"Well, I'm glad she was," Steve smiled at him. Bucky's steps came to a halt and he pulled open the hut's door, Steve only then realizing that they'd arrived there.   
  
Steve stepped inside first after Bucky gestured for him to do so, ducking down to avoid knocking his head on the low doorframe. That warm sensation in his chest that he'd been feeling ever since he had arrived in Wakanda only grew as he looked around the small but cozy little room that Bucky was calling home, and it took him a moment to realize why.   
  
Unlike Bucky's apartment in Romania, this place wasn't arranged tactically in case of attack from authorities or other possible threats. It was tiny to be sure but it was warm and it had everything Bucky needed, a bed and a little corner he could cook in and stacks of books on the floor and a small bureau he was willing to bet clothes were in. It was humble but Bucky seemed to like it that way, the little space looking and _feeling_ like the Bucky Steve remembered.   
  
"You want something to drink, or..."  
  
Steve looked up when Bucky trailed off. He looked concerned for some reason, and Steve didn't know why until he blinked and felt something wet on his cheek.   
  
"Steve, are you.... are you crying?"  
  
He quickly wiped at his face, feeling absolutely ridiculous and a little embarrassed but God he couldn't help it. He had been so worried for so long, keeping everything he felt locked away and pushed as far down as it would go so he wouldn't crack, but now... now he was hopeless to hold any of it back.   
  
"I just... I thought... I thought the worst this whole time," Steve admitted, looking anywhere but at Bucky. "I knew you were safe but I had no idea how long this would take, or if Shuri's idea would even work, and the thought of you being stuck like that for God knows how long -"  
  
"Hey," Bucky interrupted gently, stepping forward and pulling Steve into another hug that he hadn't realized he needed. "It's okay. I'm okay. I really am."  
  
"I know," Steve murmured, holding him even closer and tighter than he'd allowed himself the first time. One hand curled into a fist around the back of Bucky's shirt and the other rested on the back of his head as he added, "I guess that's why I'm kinda losing it."  
  
"You old sap," Bucky teased, breath tickling Steve's neck as he spoke those words. Steve laughed, the motion hiding his shiver. "I'm glad you came. Wasn't expecting this."  
  
"Me either," Steve sighed, fingers threading through Bucky's hair of their own accord, conscious thought playing no role in it. He breathed him in, the whole world slowing down for that moment and ceasing to exist for a little while. They were alone and nobody was watching and he didn't have to be strong or even think at all. This was where he'd always be the most comfortable and at home, and it had nothing to do with the ground beneath their feet or the geographical location of their safe haven.   
  
He didn't know how long they stayed like that, his brain turning a bit fuzzy by that point, but he did notice when Bucky's hand moved from the middle of his back up his spine to the back of his neck. His fingertips brushing against his skin made goosebumps break out under his clothes, made even worse when Bucky let out a soft sigh against his neck and began to draw back far enough to look at him.   
  
When Steve's eyes met his he instantly felt the change in the room, between them, recognized it from the last time they'd been that close. It made his heart start slamming in his chest just the same as before, that nervous but incredible thrill sending his senses into overdrive and making his stomach flip as they stared at each other. Bucky's hand slid to the side of Steve's neck, resting there as his thumb pressed softly to his pulse point as it fluttered wildly.   
  
Steve felt the flush that crept up on his cheeks as Bucky felt firsthand just how affected he was. He watched Bucky exhale in realization, licking his lips before murmuring, "God, Steve..."  
  
"I'm sorry," Steve all but whispered, more than a little embarrassed. "I just -"  
  
"No," Bucky shook his head, hand dropping down to grab one of Steve's and place it on his chest, over his shirt, where his heart was beating just as hard. He looked Steve in the eye as he made sure Steve felt how mutual it all was, the tension and desire that was still new but not as surprising now as it had been at first.   "It's... I feel it too."  
  
Embarrassment fading away now that he knew he wasn't alone, Steve let his eyes drift from Bucky's chest to his lips and finally his eyes, wondering in the back of his mind how and why this was happening and why it felt so incredibly right, as easy as breathing. But he'd think about that later - maybe - and for now, he'd focus on something much better and much sweeter.   
  
They started moving at the same time, slowly and carefully, leaning in close until Steve could feel Bucky's breath on his lips. He only hesitated for two beats of his heart before he closed the distance and brushed their lips together in a gentle kiss. It wasn't timid, wasn't experimental because they were past that by that point. But it was soft and sweet because despite their previous encounters, this was still new for them and they didn't want to screw up a single moment of whatever this was between them.   
  
The kiss lingered, Steve's hand staying where it was over Bucky's heart and Bucky reaching up to cup his jaw and keep him close. Then they kissed again and again, deeper and sweeter until Steve had to pull away to suck in a gulp of air. But he didn't go far, leaning his forehead against Bucky's and admitting with a breathless smile, " _God_ I've missed you, Buck."  
  
"I can tell," Bucky chuckled, hand sliding into Steve's hair, a bit longer than usual these days. "Missed you too."  
  
Steve let his eyes fall shut, breathing through parted lips and only opening his eyes when he felt Bucky tug down the zipper of the hoodie he was wearing. He didn't know why he even had it on, the weather entirely too hot for such attire, but he was glad for it because it allowed him to watch Bucky slowly unzip it and then slip his hand under each side, pushing it off of his shoulders until it hit the floor. Then he looked up at Steve and suddenly they were kissing again, deeper and harder and passionate, and Bucky was grasping the front of Steve's t-shirt and walking them backwards towards his bed.   
  
It was a short walk but they managed to shed more clothes on the way, Steve untying the scarf draped over Bucky's left arm and letting it fall while Bucky pushed up Steve's shirt and made an impatient noise against Steve's mouth that Steve had no trouble interpreting. He broke away and pulled off his shirt just as they reached the bed, and Bucky wasted no time in grasping him by his hair and turning them around, steering Steve to sit down on the edge of the bed while he stood between Steve's legs. Something about that, about looking up and watching Bucky one-handedly do away with his own shirt made it suddenly dawn on Steve just what they were doing and how badly he wanted it with everything in him.   
  
He reached for Bucky with both hands and pulled until he was sitting on his lap, Bucky's arm around his shoulders and eyes on Steve's as he ran his hands up Bucky's sides. It struck Steve just then that this was the first time they'd done this in the daylight, sunshine streaming in from the windows and letting him see Bucky in a warmer, brighter light this time. It allowed him to see details he hadn't last time, which in turn made him want to see more, want to learn him and -  
  
A furious kiss from Bucky cut off his thoughts, rendering Steve useless and able only to kiss him back mindlessly and clutch at his waist with tense fingers. Bucky wasn't playing shy, wasn't holding back and even started pushing him down towards the bed after he let out a low moan at something Bucky did with his tongue. But something in Steve sprang back to life before his back could hit the mattress and, to his own surprise, he flipped them over and laid Bucky down underneath him before Bucky could protest.   
  
But he wouldn't have protested anyway, judging by the way he grinned up at Steve at the change in position and brushed his fingertips against his jaw, through the impressive beard there. "Getting the hang of this, huh?"  
  
"Shut up," Steve playfully shot back, dipping his head down to steal another kiss.   
  
Bucky hummed against his lips, fingers sliding into his hair as he murmured, "It was a compliment, you punk."  
  
Steve couldn't help but smile at that, unable to remember the last time Bucky had called him that. He brushed a stray lock of hair out of Bucky's face and found himself wishing they could stay like this, just like this, in their own little world and in each other's arms and the rest of the world so far away it barely existed anymore.   
  
Steve leaned down and nuzzled Bucky's scruffy jaw, enjoying the rough feeling of it and dragging his lips down until they were on Bucky's neck, searching for a spot that Steve remembered from the last time he'd kissed him like this. It didn't take him long before he found it, Bucky's telltale shudder betraying him once he did, and Steve couldn't help but wreak havoc on him. He licked and sucked and tortured Bucky, making him squirm and gasp until he was satisfied with his work and pulled away to admire the dark little bruise that now painted his skin. Then Steve paused and grinned, noticing how red the skin surrounded the bruise was thanks to his beard.   
  
Marking him like that and seeing his skin all bruised and red and angry in the wake of his mouth did something to Steve, made something stir within that he wasn't quite familiar with. Bucky saw it when their eyes met again, saw the sudden dark hunger in Steve's eyes and felt himself twitch in his pants in response, voice low and rough as he murmured, "Don't hold back, Steve. You can do whatever the fuck you want to me."  
  
Those unexpected words made Steve's brain short circuit, all the breath leaving his lungs in one sudden rush as he repeated barely above a whisper, "Anything?"  
  
Bucky nodded, hand pushing down on Steve's lower back and hips thrusting up gently against his, looking for friction and finding not nearly enough but still enough to make their breaths hitch. "I trust you." He leaned up and kissed Steve slowly and added against his lips, "Want you."  
  
Steve couldn't comprehend what he was hearing, could hardly believe it and most definitely didn't know what the hell to do with it. He wasn't stupid or naive and he was pretty sure he knew where both of their heads were in the wake of such words but he wasn't ready for _that_ yet, and despite Bucky's words, Steve was pretty sure he wasn't either. But what they did or didn't do next wasn't the point - the point was the full and complete trust between them, something Steve was starting to think they'd only ever share with each other. He couldn't imagine ever feeling safer or more at home with anyone else, and while he couldn't be sure... he suspected that feeling was even stronger on Bucky's part, after all he'd been through.   
  
"Want you too," Steve murmured back before stealing another kiss. His cheeks flushed hot as he admitted in a whisper, "Think about this way too much."  
  
Bucky chuckled, fingers slipping through Steve's hair and eyes closed as he grinned, "Guess I left an impression."  
  
Steve simply moaned quietly in response, partially because of the way their still-clothed hips were moving languidly together and also because Bucky had left even more of an impression than he could have known. It had been months ago but Steve could still feel his touch, his lips, the heat of his mouth engulfing him, his hardness rubbing against his own and spilling hot into his hand, all of it leaving what Steve sometimes felt was a visible, tangible mark upon him. And this, being with him like this now, was only driving that mark even deeper and more significant, leaving no room for anything or anyone else.   
  
He liked it that way. He might have even loved it.   
  
"I think about it too," Bucky confessed quietly, Steve's eyes opening and flying to his as they rocked together and hands slid all over each other. "Every night."  
  
Steve could hardly take it, barely contain what those words did to him. "Yeah?"  
  
Bucky nodded, their lips colliding in a sloppy kiss before he murmured, "Can't get you outta my fuckin' head, Steve."  
  
Steve faltered then, nearly losing his footing as he stared down at Bucky in wonder and heat and surprise. But Bucky had just enough control left to reach between them and start undoing their pants, incredibly proficient with just his one hand, and after a moment Steve helped him and got their pants down enough to free them both and get the kind of skin to skin contact that he knew would make them both lose their minds way too quickly. But that was okay - this time, they had time to spare and could make up for it later.   
  
Bucky cursed low and rough the moment they started working up a rhythm, bodies slick with sweat and tense with building need and desire, Bucky's hand curled around Steve's bare hip and fingers likely bruising his skin with how tight his grip was. Steve couldn't stop kissing him, groaning low and breathless into his mouth and feeling his entire body pulse with pleasure, on the edge of a earth-shaking release within what seemed like mere seconds.   
  
Still, he tried to hold back and focused on Bucky, on his own quiet moans and the way his eyes were closed and brows knitted with pleasure, lips parted and unfairly gorgeous as he sucked in ragged, increasingly rough breaths between kisses. The picture he painted drove Steve to the brink and when he could take no more, he leaned his forehead against Bucky's and whispered, "I'm - I can't hold off anymore, Buck, I'm gonna -"  
  
"S'okay," Bucky assured him, hand moving to the back of Steve's head to hold him there. "I want you to. Want you to come all over me."  
  
Steve nearly did, from those words alone. " _God, Bucky._.."  
  
"I'm right behind you," Bucky groaned shakily. "You feel so fucking good, Steve. _So fucking good_ , _just_..."   
  
Bucky's words became a broken moan and Steve watched as he shuddered and fell into bliss first, eyes closing and mouth falling open and warmth spreading across their skin, and Steve couldn't have held out any longer if he'd wanted to. He followed Bucky over the edge and gave him what he wanted, making a mess all over him and feeling the kind of life-changing, mind-blowing pleasure he could never feel on his own and maybe even never with anyone else. He couldn't know for sure and the thing was... he didn't _want_ to know. _This_... whatever it was, it was more than enough for him. Bucky was enough.   
  
They laid there for awhile after, Steve breathing slow and warm against Bucky's neck as they savored the quiet aftermath. Steve didn't want to move, possibly not ever, but he knew they couldn't stay like that forever. He pressed a kiss to the space between Bucky's neck and shoulder, lingering there and breathing him in before lifting his head and meeting Bucky's sated, slightly sleepy gaze.   
  
"You okay?" Steve asked, pretty sure he knew the answer but wanting to hear it for himself.   
  
Bucky grinned and sighed, leaning his head back. "I'm so much better than okay, Steve, you don't even know."  
  
"I might," Steve chuckled, pressing one more kiss to Bucky's jaw before forcing himself to stop. "Do you have a towel, or a -"  
  
Bucky pointed towards the little bureau across the room, and Steve let himself steal one more little kiss before slipping out of the bed. When he returned and took it upon himself to clean Bucky up, not thinking twice about it, he glanced up after and realized Bucky had been watching him the whole time with a curious sort of look on his face.   
  
"What?" Steve asked, pausing and smiling a little, wondering what he'd done this time.   
  
Bucky smiled back and shook his head. "Nothin'. Just..."  
  
"Just what?" Steve pressed gently.   
  
Bucky seemed to think for moment, ultimately shaking his head again but never losing his smile. "Nothin'."  
  
Steve gave him a pointed look, setting the towel aside and lying on his side next to him, head propped on his hand and eyes never leaving Bucky as he finally gave voice to something he'd been wanting to ever since Siberia. "We gotta talk about all this, Buck."  
  
Bucky, stretched out on the bed and still very exposed thanks to how he'd never bothered to pull up his pants, merely shrugged. "I'm listening."  
  
".... What are we doing?" Steve asked, no longer able to hold that particular question back even if he'd wanted to.   
  
Bucky stared at Steve for a moment before blinking and opening his mouth, hesitating before actually forming words. "I... how... how do you want me to answer that?"  
  
This was exactly why they needed to talk, Steve thought - being on the same page and knowing it seemed absolutely essential. "Just want you to be honest," he replied quietly. "Wanna know what this is. How it happened. Why it keeps happening."  
  
Bucky's gaze lingered on Steve for a moment before he nodded, rolling on his side to face him fully. "All right. Wanna know what I think?"  
  
Steve nodded, heart rate picking up with anxiety as he listened, laying his head down on his arm.   
  
"I think," Bucky murmured, tracing his fingertips along Steve's hand, grazing his knuckles, "that this... probably never would have happened if we hadn't ended up like this. If we had gotten to come home from the war... you probably would have married Carter. I would have found someone too, hopefully. We would have had kids, they would have grown up together..." Bucky smiled fondly at the idea, gaze on their hands while Steve's never strayed from his eyes. "We would have been old men playing bingo at the senior center every Tuesday."  
  
Steve smiled at that idea, finding it hard to believe that it had ever been a real possibility for them, that their lives could have ever turned out so... _normal_. "Never been a big fan of bingo."  
  
"You would have gone with me anyway," Bucky pointed out, eyes meeting Steve's with a playful glint.   
  
".... Beside the point," Steve shrugged, smiling back.   
  
Bucky grinned, eyes falling back to their hands as Steve shifted his and gently entwined their fingers. The little smile soon faded, however. "But since we didn't get any of that... and we ended up _here_ instead... it changed things. That's the way I see it, anyway."  
  
Brows furrowed, Steve was pretty sure he agreed with that assessment, but... "Is that normal?" At Bucky's confused, questioning look, Steve added, "To... for people... for _us_ to... change like that? Change _that_ much?"

  
".... How the hell should I know?" Bucky asked with a ghost of a laugh. "I don't know and I honestly don't care. I don't care what's normal and what isn't - nothing about you and me is normal, Steve."  
  
"I know, I just..." Steve trailed off, trying to find the right words but coming up short.   
  
"Hey," Bucky said gently, thumb gliding gently over the back of Steve's hand. "You don't have to overthink this."  
  
"I'm not trying to," Steve replied with a sigh. "Just... can't help it, I guess."  
  
"... Do you like this?" Bucky asked quietly, cutting to the heart of the matter and focusing it for Steve, bypassing all those noisy thoughts clouding his head. "Do you enjoy it? Feel better after? Think about it more than you should, just like you told me?"  
  
Steve pretended that he didn't blush a little at those questions, ignoring the burning in his cheeks and nodding in affirmation. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."  
  
"So do I," Bucky replied. "And that's all that fucking matters. You and me. Not some stupid label that doesn't mean shit."  
  
And suddenly, just like that, a weight was lifted from Steve's shoulders that he hadn't even been aware until it was gone. There was no pressure here, no expectations, nothing but love and comfort and closeness and affection, all built on a foundation of trust that hell itself couldn't shake if it tried.   
  
They were far from free men, both of them two of the most wanted fugitives in the world, but here in their own little private paradise in a tucked away corner of Wakanda... they could be free. Whatever they needed, whatever they wanted, whatever it did or didn't mean - they could have it, and they didn't have to justify it or qualify it for anyone.   
  
"Okay," Steve murmured, happy to accept Bucky's thought process and adopt it as his own.   
  
Bucky cracked a little smile. "Yeah?"  
  
Steve nodded. "You're right. As usual."   
  
"Look at you, Steve," Bucky teased, "finally listening to me for once in your fucking life."  
  
"Don't get used to it," Steve teased back, both of them smiling and, though they weren't quite sure how or who reached for who first, falling into another handful of sweet, lazy kisses that inevitably led to more and kept them in that small but warm and cozy bed for far longer than they'd intended. But that was okay, Steve decided. They both deserved it. More than deserved it.   
  
And he didn't plan on leaving Bucky's bed any time soon. 

* * *

 

Life in Wakanda was like some kind of dream, a surreally beautiful reality that seemed separate from the rest of existence in a way that had nothing to do with the nation's mostly closed borders. Steve could see why Bucky seemed to like it so much - he was falling in love with the place more and more with day he spent within it.

He and Bucky were invited to the palace for dinner each night that Steve was there, an open invitation that Steve planned on only partially accepting out of some ridiculous will not to impose, but T'Challa would hear nothing of it - they would be there each night, he decreed, and it wasn't a topic that was open for debate. Steve couldn't exactly argue with that, T'Challa being King of the whole damn place, after all.

And in the end Steve was glad for each night that they spent dining with the royal family and their friends. They were no stuffy, excruciatingly formal royal family, either - they laughed and they joked and they treated Steve and Bucky not like outsiders but like they'd been there forever and belonged in some strange, unexpected capacity.

Ramonda, the Queen Mother, was an elegant and fiercely intelligent woman with a wit as sharp as the spears wielded by the Dora Milaje. Her love for her country and her children was evident in not only her words and actions but the dignified manner that she carried herself, a Queen to her very core. Her strength was mirrored in her children, her courage and warmth in T'Challa and her intellect and wit in Shuri, both of whom Steve would always owe so very much to. Especially the princess.

Shuri was outspoken and often damn hilarious, sometimes teasing Bucky and giving him a hard time in a way that never failed to make him laugh and sometimes showing him holograms of new projects in her lab that utterly dazzled him. Sometimes they chatted throughout nearly the entire dinner, and Steve couldn't help but be reminded of being younger and smaller and sitting at much more humble dinner table, watching Bucky and his little sister Rebecca banter back and forth in a remarkably similar way.

It warmed Steve's heart to see Bucky thriving in such a welcoming, healing environment, and creating friendships with people who respected him and didn't see him as a killer or a potential threat to mankind. He was just _Bucky_ , a man who had lived too long and endured too much but was still somehow so good in his heart despite all the horrors that he'd both experienced and inflicted. None of them treated him with pity and none of them questioned his place among them - T'Challa believed in him, and that was enough for most.

God only knew where Steve and Bucky would have been without him and without his sister, too.

And during the warm, sun-soaked mornings and afternoons, Steve kept busy with Bucky helping him around the farm where there was always something to tend to, something to fix or repair or replace, and always little mouths to feed. The neighbor children seemed to always be around, lending their help at times as well and gradually educating Bucky in how to care for the crops that he was trying to grow. They'd also drag Bucky into their play fights and divide into teams, arguing over who got him and who didn't, and the first few times Steve simply watched from the sidelines. But then the kids started dragging him into battle as well, and before he knew it he was laughing and playing and having fun and... he almost didn't recognize what he was feeling until much later that night, his 8th one there.

He was happy. He realized it long after Bucky had fallen asleep in his arms, safe and warm and, for that night at least, nightmare-free. It had been so long since he had been truly happy that he had forgotten what it felt like. But _this_... this was it.

It came as no surprise, then, that the call from Nat came the very next day. He knew he couldn't stay, no matter how badly he wished he could. It was just that 9 days wasn't enough.

Not nearly enough.

* * *

 

"I'm gonna miss this," Steve sighed, gazing up at the stars in the astonishingly clear night sky, lying next to Bucky underneath a blanket that just covered them both. They were away from the hut, away from the kids, away from any and all prying eyes on a hill that overlooked a sparkling river. Steve was leaving in the morning to lead Sam and Nat on another mission, and he didn't know when he would be able to come back. But he would do everything in his power to make sure that it was soon, he knew that much.

"Me too," Bucky murmured quietly, but his eyes weren't on the stars. Steve caught his gaze and Bucky only held it for a moment before smiling faintly and turning away, staring up at the sky and letting out a deep breath. "You stayed longer than I thought you would."

Steve wasn't sure how to take that, whether it should have made him as sad as it did. "I'd stay longer if I could, Buck. You know that."

"I know. S'all right," Bucky replied, and he meant it. He wasn't gonna cling or whine or beg Steve to stay - he wasn't like that. _They_ weren't like that. He knew that Steve, for better or worse, needed to fight to have purpose. He _could_ save people and therefore he _had_ to. He'd get restless if he stayed still for too long. Bucky was happy to be his escape from all of that, if Steve wished. And it seemed that he very much did.

"I'll come back as soon as I can," Steve assured him, shifting on his side to face him. As soon as he did Bucky did the same, like their movements were more synced than even they realized. "Assuming you want me to," he added with a grin.

"That's a tough one," Bucky sighed, pretending to contemplate the issue. "Let me think about that. Weigh the pros and the cons."

Steve chuckled through his nose. "Let me know how that pans out."

"... I guess I can work you into my busy schedule," Bucky shrugged. "If I've _gotta_."

"Well if I'm that much of an imposition I guess I can stay away," Steve grinned. "Maybe just fly to the Bahamas with Sam and Nat instead and just -"

"Shut up," Bucky chuckled, dropping the act and pulling Steve in for a kiss, hand sliding over the back of his neck to hold him close.

"You brought it up," Steve mumbled with a smile against his lips, and Bucky replied with an impatient grown and the gentle slide of his tongue between Steve's lips. It was a more than effective way to shush him up for good.

Each night thus far had ended up like this, with the two men entangled like lovers and getting caught up in the heat between them until they made messes of each other and lapsed into deep, mostly peaceful sleep. But knowing that this was the last time they'd get to do this for awhile fueled a mutual sense of urgency and it wasn't long until Bucky was pulling Steve on top of him, their kisses deep and passionate and bodies moving together so naturally it was hard to believe they'd never not done these things.

"Steve," Bucky whispered between kisses, fingers tugging gently on his hair to still him. "Steve, I..."

"What?" Steve asked quietly, hand braced on the blanket next to Bucky's head while the other traced his cheekbone. "What's wrong?"

"... I just... I gotta say something and I'm not really sure how, but..." Bucky paused and licked his lips, taking a breath before saying what he needed to. "While we're doing this, whatever this is... I don't want you with anybody else."

Steve's brows furrowed, deep confusion clouding his features. "You don't... _what_?"

"If you meet some girl," Bucky quickly added, actually _blushing_ a little bit, "or you see that... Sharon again, whatever, I just... I don't wanna share you. I want you to be happy, but I -"

"Buck, what are you talking about?" Steve asked, more than a little flummoxed. "Share me? Why would I - you think I'd be with someone else while I'm with you?"

"No," Bucky shook his head, because he truly didn't. He knew full well Steve wasn't like that, but he also knew they were in uncharted territory. "But I'm just makin' sure you know, Steve."

"Know what?" Steve pressed, a bit desperate to follow this wherever it would lead, thinking it might clear up some of his lingering confusion over what they were becoming to one another.

Bucky's eyes fell to his lips, then back up to his eyes as his hand slowly slipped down Steve's chest. "That I don't want anybody else touching you while you're mine."

Something about that word and the way that he said it, _mine_ , made Steve lose his breath and eyes darken as they stared into Bucky's. They stayed like that, Steve opening his mouth to answer only to fall silent when Bucky's hand slid down over the front of his pants and rubbed over him, something distinctly firm and possessive in the touch. " _God_..."

"You like that?" Bucky asked lowly, quietly with a tiny grin, gripping him and squeezing gently, leaning up and kissing him as he did. "You like being mine, Steve?"

Steve let out a moan against his lips and rocked into his hand, stealing a hungry kiss before answering breathlessly, "As long as you're mine, too."

"Course I am," Bucky replied without hesitation, eyes lifting to search Steve's again. "You know I am."

Steve groaned low in his throat, Bucky's hand driving him crazy and his next words flew out before he could stop them. "Then say it."

"I'm yours, Steve," Bucky murmured, the words and tone of his voice making Steve shiver nearly as much as his hand slipping into his pants did. "All yours."

Steve didn't try to hide his reactions as Bucky worked him like that, stroking him the way he'd learned Steve liked it and making him moan and chase the heat and friction of his hand with increasingly desperate thrusts of his hips. "All... all mine?" Steve questioned barely above a whisper, trying to keep his wits about him but it wasn't easy. In fact, it was nearly impossible.

"Any way you want me," Bucky replied, punctuating those words with a strategic shift of his wrist and a deep kiss that made Steve's head spin. Then, forehead to forehead, Bucky added in a heated, dangerous tone, "I mean it, Steve. You can do anything you want to me."

Steve's eyes opened, their gazes connecting as Steve struggled to think straight amid the pleasure he was lost in. " _Buck_..."

Bucky watched his eyes roll shut, reveling in how easy it was to make the man see stars, how well he'd learned him over the short time they'd spent together like this. He kissed Steve's lips and then his cheekbone, kissing a trail towards his ear that Steve happily turned his head to allow, and once he got there Bucky murmured, "Want you to fuck me, Steve."

Steve's eyes flew open and he nearly toppled off of Bucky completely, his entire body jerking and pleasure spiking at the mere words. " _What did you_ \- oh my God, _Bucky_ -"

Bucky shut him up with a swift, hard kiss. "I know," he muttered after, "I know it sounds crazy but fuck, Steve, I don't fuckin' care. You've waited too fucking long and you deserve to know what it feels like. I wanna give you that."

Images flashed in Steve's mind, each more vivid than the next - Bucky on his hands and knees, Bucky on his back, on his side, against the wall, all with Steve buried inside of him and fucking him until they both came so hard they collapsed - and suddenly Steve was seconds from coming in Bucky's fist.

"You want it, Steve?" Bucky asked, working his hand faster. "Wanna lay me down and fuck me, do it til you come inside me?"

Steve couldn't take it anymore, everything within him snapping and a roar of a moan leaving his mouth as he spilled into Bucky's hand, the onslaught of his words and the images they caused too much to handle. It felt like it might have shaken the ground beneath him, leaving Steve lightheaded and not even softening a little bit as the waves ebbed away and he slowly opened his eyes to find Bucky smirking at him.

They stayed there like that for a moment, grin fixed on Bucky's lips and Steve's eyes wide and dazed as they stared at each other. Steve only found his voice after Bucky coaxed another low sound from his throat by pulling his hand out of his pants and, like the filthy bastard he was, licking off his fingers.

".... Did you mean all that?" Steve asked, blushing for a number of reasons, all of which were entirely Bucky's fault.

"It would be pretty fucked up to say all that to get you off but take it back after," Bucky chuckled. "Yeah, I meant it."

Steve swallowed, feeling a strange mixture of excitement and anxiety at the mere thought. He wasn't ready to do it tonight, that was for sure - he'd need time to think and plan ahead and... figure out what the hell sex with a man was supposed to entail fully, as far as details went. But having those words out there in the open and the offer being laid in front of him like that... he was aching already and he hadn't come more than two minutes prior.

"... Then I better do some catching up," Steve said, reaching down to the hem of Bucky's shirt and pulling it up and over his head. Once it was off he leaned down and kissed Bucky's lips, lingering there just long enough to make Bucky squirm with need before trailing his lips down towards his neck.

"Catching up?" Bucky questioned, fingers drifting through Steve's hair as he sucked a mark just over his pulse point. "What - _fuck_ \- what's that mean?"

"Means there's things you've done to me that I haven't done to you," Steve replied, peeking up as he mouthed over Bucky's collarbone. "And I need to change that."

"Not if you don't want to," Bucky assured him, watching Steve kiss down his chest, over his pecs and grazing his ribs. "You don't owe me anything just because -"

"Buck," Steve's eyes flashed up to his. "I want to. I want everything."

Bucky didn't dare argue with that, surprise briefly flickering through his eyes before heightened arousal darkened them. Steve only smirked back a little bit before continuing his journey down, stopping only to undo Bucky's jeans and pull them down once he reached them.

Somehow, up until this point, Steve hadn't gotten Bucky in his mouth once. Bucky had sucked him off multiple times, almost every day since Steve had arrived, and yet somehow this hadn't happened yet. Steve had wanted to despite his slight anxiety that his inexperience would ruin it and Bucky wouldn't like it, but none of that mattered anymore - he absolutely had to do it, had to give Bucky everything he could that night and prove to him just how much he wanted every inch of him after Bucky had so explicitly offered it to him.

Once Bucky was bare to him, hard and aching and already leaking, Steve took him in hand and started stroking, licking his lips and taking a deep breath as he focused fully on the task at hand. Bucky groaned with just the touch of his hand, biting his lip as he watched, and catching a glimpse of that hungry look in his eyes was all the last little push Steve needed. He leaned forward and licked along the tip, swirling his tongue experimentally and earning a roughly groaned _oh fucking hell_ from Bucky's kiss-swollen lips. The second those words hit Steve's ear, he parted his lips and sucked Bucky into his mouth without a shred of hesitation, taking him as far as he could.

In truth, Steve had meant to take his time and take this slow, get a feel for the act and for what Bucky liked, learn how to do it properly and patiently, but... Bucky was so vocal from the start and so thoroughly starved for the pleasure that Steve was giving him that Steve's plans flew out the proverbial window and he found himself sucking him as tight and deep as he could, his speed increasing parallel to the volume of Bucky's moans and filthy curses and his hand working what he couldn't quite fit into his mouth. He was a man on a mission to see his lover lose his damn mind, nothing else in the world mattering in that moment besides seeing and feeling and tasting Bucky's release.

Bucky was a writhing, panting, sweating mess, gripping Steve's hair and trying to form words despite the tidal wave of pleasure on the cusp of overtaking him. " _Fucking_... fuck _Steve_ , you gotta - _God_ I'm gonna fuckin'-"

He tried to tug Steve off of him by his hair but Steve didn't budge, wanting everything Bucky was willing to give him and rather than ease off, he doubled down and worked him faster and harder until Bucky's moans became short gasps and, with one last curse, he spilled into Steve's waiting mouth.

Steve swallowed all that he could, making a bit of a mess in the process but Bucky tended to do that too, so he didn't particularly care. Slowly and gently he eased off of Bucky, breathing hard and swiping his palm over his beard, wet with what he hadn't managed to keep in his mouth. Bucky watched him through hooded, sated eyes, their gazes locking and Steve's resulting blush beyond his control.

"God, Steve, c'mere," Bucky urged him, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him until Steve was at his side once more, and then they were kissing again long and deep without a care in the world.

"I guess," Steve chuckled in between their lazy, sweet kisses, "I did all right?"

"Fuck, Steve," Bucky groaned, brushing their noses together gently, "that was so fucking good. I don't even have words for how good that was."

"Well... then mission accomplished," Steve chuckled, stealing another kiss. He was more than relieved that he hadn't embarrassed himself or proven to be a letdown, but next time... next time, he'd be patient and make a night of it, maybe, if Bucky wanted that.

It suddenly struck him that hadn't even left yet, and he was already making plans for how they'd pass time on his next visit. He wondered if this would be his new normal, working and continuing to skirt the law and authorities while looking forward to these little visits and letting the anticipation of them fuel him and sustain him when things became difficult.

God knew everything would be so much easier now that he knew Bucky was okay and had seen him with his own two eyes, heard his laughter and watched him enjoy his new life and thrive within it. That alone was a gift without a price, something he would move heaven and hell itself to make sure didn't change. Anyone who posed a threat to that... he'd take them on with his bare hands and make sure they didn't get to walk away.

But there was no threat and no battle to wage, at least not there. It was just Steve and Bucky and the moon and the stars, and Steve was sure that if he lost everything else but still had those... then maybe he'd get to die a happy man someday after all.

"We should get you back home," Steve murmured when Bucky started to drift off to sleep nestled into his side, head pillowed on his chest.

Bucky groaned in disapproval. "Don't wanna. Like it here."

Steve knew he didn't just mean the little hill they were camped out on, pristine as the river beneath it was and how beautiful and clear the night sky was above them. He liked it there because it was where Steve was, and where Steve was was always where Bucky would choose to be.

Steve held Bucky close and closed his eyes, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead before drifting off just after Bucky did. He couldn't think of a better way to spend his last night in Wakanda.

* * *

 

The following morning, Steve was long gone and Bucky was feeding the goats. He missed him already, having grown entirely too used to his presence over the last 9 days and feeling the weight of his absence with every step he took.

He'd adjust, of course, and he'd be fine while he waited for the next visit. He just missed his best friend.

The sound of a woman cursing in Xhosa stole his attention and made him look up from the goat he'd been petting - the cute little stupid one that most definitely reminded him of Steve. He turned to find none other than the princess herself heading his way, shooing off a few overly excited chickens that had attempted to ambush her.

As he walked to meet her halfway, she tossed him a smile and called, "I have a gift for you, White Wolf!"

The damn nickname was sticking, it seemed, but that was all right. He'd had worse aliases before. "A gift?" he questioned, noticing the small box that she carried with her.

She approached him with a knowing smile and handed the box to him, replying, "You owe me now."

"As if I didn't already," Bucky smiled back. He then looked down and opened the small, narrow box to find what appeared to be a black smartphone inside. "You're giving me a phone?"

"So you can talk to your boyfriend and his silly beard when he's not here," she explained cheerfully.

"Wow, thanks, you didn't have to -" He suddenly paused and blinked at her. "My what -"

"Oh please, Bucky," she waved him off. "Do I look like I don't have eyes?"

He blinked again. "He's not my -"

"Really?" she raised both eyebrows in a distinct _I'm calling bullshit_ gesture. "Well then in that case, if you are going to lie to my face..." She reached for the phone and Bucky drew it back out of instinct, and her knowing smile returned.

"Sorry," he muttered, hiding a small smile but unable to hide his blush. Just a tiny hint of one.

"No need to apologize," she assured him. "You don't have to hide here, you know. Nobody will care. Wakanda is not primitive like your country."

"I know," he smiled. "Thank you."

She nodded, glancing back down at the phone. "It's fully secure and has more memory than you'll ever need. I even took the liberty of installing video calling for you."

"... Video calling?"

"Like Skype, but better because I created it," she smirked. "Also, Captain Rogers' number is already preprogrammed in your contacts."

Bucky chuckled. She really had thought of everything. "I can't thank you enough, Shuri."

"Well, as I said, now you owe me," she smiled back. But her smile quickly dropped off her face when he started to approach her for a hug, holding up her hands and backing away as she screeched, "Don't touch me, Barnes! You are all sweaty and smell like goats!"

He laughed and backed off, unable to argue with the truth. "My bad."

"Take care of that," she pointed to the phone, turning to walk away. "You cannot imagine what the market value of that phone would be."

"You're way too nice to me," Bucky grinned, waving goodbye.

She waved back and chirped, "Yes I am!"

He chuckled as she set off the way that she came, cursing at the same wayward chickens to leave her alone when they came clucking and running at her yet again. Once she was safe from aggressive farmlife, he looked down at the thin, sleek phone and shiny black screen, unable to get the stubborn smile off of his face.

The sound of an annoying, grating whine caught his attention and he glanced to his left to find Steve the goat - his name was definitely Steve now, no question - with his head stuck in the fencing. Bucky rolled his eyes and headed over to the helpless creature, muttering, "You know what, you little dumbass? I know exactly what the first picture I send Steve with this thing is gonna be."


	2. Chapter 2

Standing next to Steve on the Quinjet as Sam flew them over Eastern Europe, Natasha was placing her comm unit into her ear as she asked casually, "So, after we're finished, how's Greek sound for dinner?"  
  
Steve gave her a slightly incredulous smile as he adjusted his own earpiece and replied, "You think we're gonna be done in time for dinner? In Greece?"  
  
She shrugged, brushing back a piece of her newly blonde hair from her eyes. "A girl can dream. Besides, I know a guy in Athens. Makes the best lamb you'll ever taste."  
  
Steve raised an eyebrow. "Old boyfriend or a chef?"  
  
"I'll let you meet him first and then you can decide for yourself," she teased, and whatever Steve was going to reply with was interrupted by the loud chiming of one of the phones he kept on him at all times. As he furrowed his brows and reached to retrieve it from one of his belt compartments she asked, "Tony?"  
  
He shook his head, staring at the phone screen in confusion and tapping it twice. Then Natasha watched as the pinch in his features faded and gave way to something else, something she hadn't seen from him but maybe once or twice before. All the tension drained from his face and a big, silly smile replaced his worried frown, and her eyes widened as she watched it all unfold.   
  
"Who is it?" she asked despite having a very well educated guess from the minute that smile of his had begun to form on his face.   
  
Rather than answering with words, Steve looked up at her with the dopiest grin she'd ever seen in her life - and that was saying something, coming from Clint Barton's best friend - and showed her the photo on the screen.   
  
"That's a... goat," she surmised. She squinted and tilted her head. "With its head stuck in a fence."  
  
"It's Bucky," Steve grinned, staring at the goat like it was the single best thing he had ever laid his eyes on.   
  
She raised an eyebrow. "He's a goat?"  
  
"No, it's - it's _his_ goat, or one of them," Steve replied, shaking his head as if to clear it, smile stuck on his face. "He's living on a farm in the countryside, and... they must have given him a phone to keep in touch."  
  
Then he started typing up a reply to the photo, eyes bright and expression easy and relaxed and... happy. Natasha stared at him as if an alien had just descended from a wormhole and replaced Steve with a pod person right there as she watched - even that might not have been as dramatic of a shift from the norm as _this_ was.   
  
She had been a near constant companion of Steve's for years now, a few longer than Sam and the closest thing to a confidant that she suspected he had. They'd been through everything together from alien invasions to the fall of SHIELD and, most recently, the disbanding of the Avengers. She had no hesitation in admitting how much she utterly adored Steve and how willing she was to dismember anyone who tried to hurt him, or further shake his faith in humanity and life itself. He'd been through hell and she had watched it take its toll on him, age him in ways that couldn't be helped. But he never lost his inherent _goodness_ , those inner qualities that made him who he was and managed to keep her own remaining faith alive in the face of events that would have snuffed it out long ago.   
  
He was honorable, brave, decent, selfless. The best man she had ever known and would ever know, she was sure. But one thing he had never been from the very first moment she'd met him was _happy_. Not even a little.   
  
She'd caught a glimpse once, during a conversation they'd shared after going on the run following the fiasco with the Accords. He had told her about Peggy Carter and the brief but consuming romance they'd shared, her loss weighing heavy on his heart months after her funeral and likely forever. He recounted the day he'd met her and the way that she'd socked a soldier in the face for disrespecting her, how he'd known from that moment forward that she was something else and exactly the kind of gal he could fall hard for, and he had smiled in a soft and genuine way that had served as all the proof one could ask for of how deeply he loved her. She hadn't seen that smile again, not even a hint of anything like it... until now.   
  
It wasn't like the last time she had seen him smile because of Bucky, when he'd gotten the text from T'Challa that he was awake and healed and ready for visits. This time it was different somehow, a softness in his eyes and a faint flush in his cheeks that she found most peculiar. Her eyes drifted along his features down to his thumbs typing away and then back up again, and as her theory began to come together... she wondered why it had never occurred to her before.   
  
If she was right... it would explain a lot.   
  
"So," she said with a wry little smirk, " _that's_ why you weren't ever interested in any of the dates I tried to set you up on."  
  
Steve's thumbs stilled, smile not quite leaving but shrinking a little as he glanced up at her in confusion. "What?"  
  
She gave him a knowing look. "I'd like to think I can read you pretty well by now. And at the moment you look kind of like a teenage girl who just got texted by her crush for the first time."  
  
His reaction to those words, she knew, would tell her all she needed to know. And she wasn't wrong.   
  
His eyes widened fractionally, staring at her with a very mild but very noticeable glint of panic in his eyes. "I - _what_?"  
  
She sighed and gave him a warm smile, patting his shoulder. "I didn't realize you were being so literal with the whole 'shared life experience' thing. So back in the 40s, were you two -"  
  
" _No_ ," he blinked, the word coming out far more passionately than he intended. Sam in the pilot's seat glanced over his shoulder with narrowed eyes, clearly wondering what the hell was going on, and Steve took a breath and sighed, "No, Nat, we weren't - no."  
  
"So it's a recent development," she deduced.  
  
"It's -" Steve slapped his mouth shut as soon as he'd opened it, blinking a few times and clearly having no idea what the hell to say or how to say it.   
  
She smiled again, finding Steve possibly cuter than she ever had. "Relax. It's really not that shocking. Though I do find your embarrassment adorable."  
  
Steve blushed and rolled his eyes, glancing down at the phone and pausing before meeting her gaze again and muttering, "Can you just... can we keep it between us because I really don't know what the hell I'm doing and -"  
  
"No," she deadpanned, "I'm going to immediately run to the _Daily Mail_ and sell this story for millions." At Steve's raised eyebrow and exasperated grin, she smiled and added, "You should know me better by now, Steve."  
  
"I do," he assured her. "Sorry. Guess I'm just... kind of out of my element with things like this."  
  
"Well if you ever need tips or advice," Natasha remarked casually, "my door's always open."  
  
"... Tips?"  
  
"Date night ideas, gift ideas, sex positions - you know, the usual," she shrugged, trying not to grin too obnoxiously when Steve's mouth dropped open a bit on that last one. She decided she might as well go for broke at this point. "My understanding is that in your particular case, lube is crucial and you should always have it on hand. Like... a lot of it."  
  
Face going up in flames and a vein in his forehead nearly ready to burst, Steve was on the cusp of what surely would have been a thoroughly entertaining and sputtering reply but was interrupted by Sam calling over his shoulder, "10 minutes, guys. Might wanna finish gearing up unless you'd rather keep whispering and giggling like a couple of 12 year old One Direction fans."  
  
Natasha rolled her eyes at his word choice and glanced at Steve's phone still in his hand. "For the record," she murmured, "it's nice to see you happy for once. I hope it works out."  
  
His expression relaxed some, that smile that Natasha was starting to love on him returning a little bit. "Me too."  
  
If anyone deserved to be happy, after all, it was Steve Rogers. Anything she could do to help facilitate that, she would without hesitation.   
  
Including, she decided later after their mission was completed and they had to settle for canned dinners rather than the Greek feast she'd been craving, memorizing a certain number from Steve's phone when he wasn't looking and sending its owner a text of her own.   


* * *

  
  
It was late when Bucky returned to his little hut after a lazy moonlit dip in the river, towel-clad and relaxed, ready to dry off and hopefully catch a decent night's sleep before sunrise rolled around. He didn't sleep quite as well without Steve there but that didn't surprise him. At least now, if he ever needed to calm down after a nightmare or talk until he was too tired to keep his eyes open, Steve was just a phone call away. That knowledge alone worked wonders for his state of mind, which he really couldn't complain too much about these days.   
  
He felt good. He liked the little farm, liked taking care of the goats and the crops and spending his time doing honest, rewarding work. He liked his neighbors, loved the little kids who seemed surprisingly fond of him in return, and most of all he couldn't be more grateful for the removal of his trigger words and the crippling anxiety that came with them. To be free of the Winter Soldier's programming was to be free of the weight of the very world, like an invisible hand that had been slowly choking the life out of him was finally gone at last and he could breathe again.   
  
Nightmares and flashbacks and pangs of guilt and regret still came, and he knew better than to think that would ever change. But now he didn't feel like he was drowning anymore or stuck within a mind that wasn't truly his own. Now he had hope, real hope, and that made all the difference.   
  
He didn't deserve it, he knew that. He didn't deserve a lot of things he had or the people who cared about him, Steve being the first who came to mind. But of course, there was no trying to tell Steve that, so Bucky didn't bother with that one anymore.   
  
He toweled off his long hair once he was back inside the hut, his eyes drifting to the sleek black cell phone sitting on the little table next to his bed. He wasn't unfamiliar with cell phones following his two years in Romania but he'd never used one quite like this, and its speed and capabilities greatly impressed him. There were certainly upsides to being thrust into the future, he had to admit. And not all of those upsides were tech related.   
  
His thoughts drifting back to Steve and specifically to the new and unexpected ways in which their relationship was evolving, he only realized that he was staring off into space with the now-forgotten towel dangling from his hand when his phone chirped and got his attention. He tossed the towel aside and made for the bed, picking up the phone and sitting down and expecting a message from Steve.   
  
But instead, the new text was from a number he'd never seen before. Brows furrowing quickly and immediately thinking the very worst, he swiftly unlocked the phone and read the text in question. It wasn't anything sinister, thank God, but it took him a moment to figure out who the hell it was from.   
  
 _You might be his oldest friend,_ the message began, _but I'm the second oldest now and that means I'm allowed to send threatening, overprotective messages like this. I don't think you'll hurt him but if you do, I'll find you, I promise. And you won't see me coming.  
_  
Bucky reread the message three times before he looked up and, brows even more pinched, began mentally running through a list of possible suspects as to who the sender was. It didn't sound like Wilson - and Bucky would probably definitely see him coming for sure. Big metal wings weren't exactly subtle nor stealthy. However, the message did fit his other top suspect.   
  
He typed one word and sent it off. _Romanoff?_  
  
Her reply didn't take long. _Who else?_  
  
He grinned and paused, taking a breath and letting it go. He liked this one. Steve talked about her a lot, seemed to trust her and lean on her when he needed someone. Bucky was glad he had someone like that, glad he had Wilson too. Being alone in an overwhelming new world wasn't easy. He knew that firsthand.   
  
 _He told you?_ Bucky asked next, finding that aspect of things by far the most surprising. He wasn't mad or offended, didn't see a need to keep it a secret from Steve's friends, but he just... hadn't anticipated Steve telling anyone for awhile, he supposed.   
  
 _He didn't need to_ , her answer read. _It was written all over his face._  
  
Bucky smiled as he stared at those words. Steve never had been able to hide anything, at least not from him. And Romanoff, if she was all the Black Widow was cracked up to be - and he knew that she was - she could undoubtedly read Steve like a book.   
  
 _I'm the last person you gotta worry about hurting him,_ Bucky replied. _Rather lose another arm than ever hurt him._  
  
 _Dramatic. No wonder he likes you_.  
  
Bucky laughed out loud a little, shaking his head. He was about to reply when he suddenly got a text from Steve that read, _Is Natasha texting you??_  
  
Bucky furrowed his brows and wasn't sure who to answer first, and then his phone kept chiming with new incoming texts as he stared at it helplessly.   
  
Natasha: _Ignore him, we're not done here yet._    
  
Steve: _What's she saying??_  
  
Natasha: _My God, he's spazzing like a chihuahua lol_  
  
Steve: _if she's bothering you I can make her stop_  
  
Steve: _Well not really but I'll tell her to_  
  
Natasha: _Anyway, I think you get the picture. Hurt him and I hurt you. Pretty simple._    
  
Bucky blinked and replied with a quick _yes_ , _ma'am_ before he received yet another text, this time one that began a new thread with both Steve and Natasha's numbers at the top and a message from Steve that read, _There, now we can all talk here and save all the secrecy._  
  
Bucky tilted his head in confusion but understood when Natasha replied just under that message with one of her own. _You figured out how to start a group chat? I'm impressed. But also not interested._  
  
Steve: _Why, because you can't handle transparency_?   
  
Natasha: _No, because I have no interest in getting the middle of whatever kind of sexting you dirty old men get up to in your spare time._  
  
Bucky had picked the wrong moment to take a drink of water. He choked immediately upon reading those words, sputtering and coughing as she then followed up with, _Wait, do you two even know what sexting is?_  
  
Steve: _I know what sexting is, Nat. I've had internet access for five years now._  
  
Bucky had no idea what was going on but he couldn't look away, each incoming text reading more and more like a trainwreck but he had no plans of making it stop.   
  
Natasha: _Oh good. Well while I have you both here, should we talk about the birds and the bees?_  
  
Steve: _Nat I think we're good there_  
  
Natasha: ..... _are you tho_  
  
Bucky finally reached his limit and sent a message into the group text for the first time. _No 3rd party intervention necessary, but appreciate the concern. I think._  
  
A moment passed and then Natasha replied with, _Fine but I'll tell you the same thing I told him - lots and lots and lots of luuuuuube_  
  
"Oh my God," Bucky mumbled out loud, grateful that nobody could see how suddenly pink his cheeks were.   
  
 _Okay we're done here_ , Steve decreed, and then a notification of his leaving the group sprang up.   
  
 _God it's fun to tease him,_ Natasha immediately replied with a series of laughing emojis.   
  
 _You're telling me,_ Bucky typed back, a smile stuck to his face despite his mild embarrassment.   
  
He sat back on his bed, settling back against the pillows and deciding that actually, there was absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. Others could tease all they wanted and he was fine with that, especially if it was coming from a good place as it seemed to be with Natasha, but the truth was he'd been through too damn much in his godforsaken life to care what anyone thought about something that made him happy. Back in the old days it would have been different but now, in _this_ world and _this_ century, and with all the scars he'd gained to get there... _fuck it._ He couldn't possibly care less what anyone thought of him and of _them_. Not when it came to that.   
  
The fact that he then pulled up Google and typed in _what is sexting,_ however... he'd keep that to himself.   


* * *

  
  
Steve's next visit to Wakanda came later than he would have liked, but life on the run and conducting covert ops being what it was, he didn't have a lot of choice in the matter. But the very moment that a stretch of free time opened up - two weeks this time, at least - Steve seized it with both hands and didn't look back. He also didn't tell Bucky, because he decided that surprising him was one of his new favorite things and he wanted to do it as often as he could.   
  
He left before the sun rose one late summer morning and bade Sam and Nat farewell from the motel the three of them had stayed the night at, and he of course didn't miss the subtle glint in Nat's eye when she told him to _have fun and be careful._ Sam didn't understand the double meaning there, of course, and Steve was sort of glad for it because he wasn't sure if he could handle the relentless teasing that would result if they both knew. It was only a matter of time before they did but for the time being, Steve was content to keep it all mostly to himself.   
  
As he flew the Quinjet to Wakanda, coordinates memorized ever since his very first trip there, his inner excitement grew and grew until he could hardly keep the little smile off of his face. He was gonna have two weeks with Bucky, two weeks of no fighting, no secret missions, no sleeping with one eye open everywhere he went. Two weeks of the outside world ceasing to matter, of laughter and ease and just... doing whatever the hell they wanted. Like the old days but better because he could breathe and they were free and there was no war, at least not right now.   
  
By the time he entered Wakandan airspace, he already felt better than he had since... well, since the last time he had been there.   
  
After landing and catching up with T'Challa for a bit, Steve headed down to the farm and relished the clean air and the sounds of birds chirping and livestock roaming, the way the sun felt on his face and the breeze cut through the heat. Leaving was gonna be even harder this time around, he already knew it.   
  
When he approached the farm at last, he initially didn't see a single sign of Bucky anywhere. He wasn't out with the animals, wasn't tending to the garden, and he doubted he was inside given that it was early afternoon. He called his name once or twice and then headed behind the hut, where he knew the well was along with some equipment and usually some bales of hay, too. He opened his mouth to call for Bucky one more time but, the minute he turned the corner, he fell silent and smiled instead.   
  
There was Bucky, curled up on his side on top of an apparently cozy pile of hay, snoozing away while Steve's little namesake goat laid next to him chewing on a mouthful of the hay along with what appeared to be... some of Bucky's hair.   
  
"Hey little guy," Steve said quietly, not wanting to wake Bucky just yet as he approached slowly. He tugged Bucky's hair away from the silly goat and added, "Yeah... that's not food, sorry." Then the little creature bumped Steve's hand like a cat looking for pets, and Steve obliged with a quiet chuckle until it had its fill and stood up to trot off towards its buddies, leaving Steve alone with Bucky, still doing his very best impression of Sleeping Beauty.   
  
Steve knelt down beside him and debated the best course of action. He could let him sleep until he woke on his own - maybe he hadn't been out for very long and needed the nap, after all. Or he could wake him gently, careful not to startle him too badly and end up on the business end of an instinctive punch to the face or hand clamped around the throat. That was never pleasant, and he really wanted to start this visit off right and not with a black eye and Bucky's inevitably endless apologies.   
  
In the end, he opted for what he decided was the safest bet. He leaned in closer and brushed a few stray locks of hair from Bucky's face, a touch of a smile playing on his lips as he watched Bucky stir slightly from the light touch.   
  
"Hey, Buck," he murmured quietly, the backs of his fingers gently brushing his cheek. "Wake up, sleepyhead."  
  
Bucky made a slightly perturbed noise but started opening his eyes anyway, blinking a few times until his vision cleared. Then he looked up at Steve, full of confusion until he blinked one more time and muttered, "Steve?" Steve was able only to smile back, wide and happy, before Bucky blinked one more time and grinned as he shot up, hand immediately grasping the back of Steve's head as he chuckled, "What the hell -"  
  
Bucky cut off his own words with the sudden and exuberant kiss he pressed to Steve's lips, the force of it taking Steve by the best kind of surprise. He only floundered for a moment before he kissed Bucky back with equal fervor, both of them smiling into the kiss until Bucky pulled away and said, "You coulda warned me."  
  
"Yeah, but then I wouldn't have gotten this kinda welcome," Steve pointed out, his satisfied grin not going anywhere.   
  
"You fucker," Bucky muttered with a good natured shake of his head before pulling him in again and this time their kiss lingered, growing deeper as the seconds passed and taking them both by surprise.   
  
They pulled away already panting, Steve's forehead resting against Bucky's as he murmured, "So is this how we're saying hi now?"  
  
"You complaining?"   
  
"Not at all," Steve chuckled. "Think I could get used to it."  
  
"Then come here," Bucky purred before capturing his lips in another kiss, and this time Steve let Bucky take the lead and show him how much he'd missed him. They'd kept in touch through texting and calls but there was nothing like being together like this, nothing quite the same as seeing him and feeling him and being reminded that he was real and _alive_ and safe.   
  
Steve ended up sitting back on his heels with Bucky half on his lap, arm around his shoulders and hand in his hair like he was unwilling to stop touching him for even a moment, and the next time they took a moment to breathe Bucky asked, "How long you here?"  
  
"Two weeks, maybe more," Steve replied, and the way that Bucky slowly smiled up at him in reply both warmed Steve's heart and sent a nervous flutter through his veins. Then Bucky pulled him close and simply held him, burying his face in Steve's shoulder, and Steve closed his eyes and hugged him back, feeling like everything shifted back into place in that moment and made sense again. Like he was home again.   
  
Maybe he was. Maybe this was where home had always been.   


* * *

  
  
They picked up right back where they'd left off, falling back effortlessly into the comfortable and pleasant little routine they'd created during Steve's first visit. Steve helped out while Bucky worked and took care of the farm, and the neighbor kids, when they spotted the White Wolf's bearded friend back at his side, immediately came running over and spent the entire rest of the day, until sunset, playing with them and pestering them in only slightly annoying and mostly adorable ways.   
  
In the middle of a game of catch - made interesting by Steve throwing the ball just far enough to wow the kids but not chuck the thing across Wakanda's borders - the English speaking boy, a sharp-witted child named Thabo, asked as one of his companions ran to retrieve the ball, "Where are you from?"  
  
Steve opened his mouth to answer, one word immediately on the tip of his tongue but dying before he could give voice to it. It felt strange to answer with anything these days, feeling as if though place where he was from didn't exist anymore - because it didn't. But nonetheless, he recovered and replied with a small smile, "Brooklyn, New York."  
  
"You live there?" the boy asked, a curious little thing.   
  
"Not anymore," Steve replied. "Not for a long time."  
  
"Then where _do_ you live?"  
  
The other boys came running back with the ball as Bucky glanced at Steve, waiting to hear his answer. Steve paused and shrugged, answering as honestly as he could think to. "Nowhere right now."  
  
Thabo tilted his head a bit and and then seemed to call a sudden conference with the other boys, the three of them talking amongst themselves as Bucky leaned back against the tree he was sitting in front of. "Where'd you live before everything? Before..."  
  
"Avengers compound," Steve replied. "Before that, D.C.."  
  
Bucky nodded, well aware of the events that led to each sudden change of residence and his central role in both. "You know," he began quietly, "when I was hiding... it wasn't just for my sake. I knew you had a life, a job, friends - saw it all on the news and in papers. Didn't wanna fuck all of that up."  
  
Steve frowned at that, glancing at the kids who seemed to be quite engrossed in their conversation before moving to take a seat next to Bucky, under the shade of the tree. "None of that's your fault."  
  
Bucky rolled his eyes. "Listen," he chuckled, "I get that you think I'm worth it, but it _was_ my fault. If it wasn't for me you'd still have all your friends and none of that shit would have happened with Stark. And you know it."  
  
He did know it. He was painfully aware of everyone and everything he'd lost, not the least of which was his freedom and good standing among roughly half of the population back home. He missed his friends from the other side, missed Tony and Rhodey and the Avengers as the whole unit they'd once been. They'd been the closest thing to a family he'd found since coming out of the ice, but never, not once during even his weakest or saddest moments, did he regret a single action he'd taken after Lagos. All he had to do was look at Bucky to see why everything he'd lost had been more than worth it.   
  
"Well," he finally replied after taking a moment to choose the right words. "I wish everything had happened differently. I wish neither of us had to hide. But I can't change what happened. And I wouldn't. It was worth it."  
  
"... You're a real dumbass, you know that?"   
  
Steve laughed, Bucky's words and smile full of nothing but affection. "Yeah I know. But you'd do the same for me, so..."  
  
He glanced at Bucky and they shared a silent look that expressed even more than words would before they were interrupted by the kids tossing the ball back their way and getting the game started again. This time, every time they passed the ball to Steve, they called him something they hadn't before. After his third time catching the word, he glanced at Bucky and asked, "What're they calling me?"  
  
Bucky shrugged. "Haven't learned that word yet."  
  
" _Uzulani_ ," Thabo piped up, tossing the ball at Steve. "Wanderer, or nomad."  
  
Steve paused, holding the ball and taking a few seconds to absorb that. It was fitting, he supposed. Truth be told, he had felt more or less like a wanderer ever since waking up alone in a new century. He was always moving from one place to another, nothing feeling permanent, nothing feeling _worth_ permanence. Nothing, at least, until now.   
  
But he couldn't stay here, either. He would keep coming and going and, just as this overly observant kid had noted, wandering to and fro. He didn't know how to stand still anymore.   
  
Before he could answer the boy, his mother called out from the neighboring hut and, without a second's hesitation, the kids yelled their goodbyes and went running home. Steve waved after them and Bucky glanced up at the sun to determine the time.   
  
"Well, _Nomad_ ," Bucky teased as he turned around and started heading off towards the garden, "ready to help me with dinner?"  
  
"I've gotta peel the damn potatoes again, don't I," Steve sighed despite his smile, following after him.   
  
Bucky looked at Steve over his shoulder. "You know how much of a pain in the ass it is to peel potatoes with one hand? I can do it but _fuck_ , it's barely worth it."  
  
"So that's why you keep me around then," Steve surmised. "Just so you can put me to work."  
  
"Oh I'll put you to work, pal," Bucky grinned back in a way that left zero room for doubt as to what he meant. "But dinner first."  
  
Steve returned his smirk and was suddenly more motivated to peel potatoes than he'd ever been in his life.   


* * *

  
  
Later that night they fell into bed in a tangled mess of limbs and lips and skin that burned hotter with each touch, wrecked with desire and a comfort level that hadn't quite been there  at the start of Steve's last visit. Neither of them now hesitated any longer before tearing the other's clothes off and groping whatever the hell they wanted to or, in Bucky's case, tossing Steve down on the bed and sucking him off like he'd been starving for it.   
  
He was getting good at it, too. He'd always been good, even his semi-clumsy first time, but now... _now_ , his mouth was nothing short of a damn weapon, and what made it all the more intoxicating was how much Bucky seemed to relish the act. He liked it so much, in fact, he did it twice that night and again the next, and Steve was somewhere near the stratosphere in terms of state of mind. He understood it, though - the only thing better than letting Bucky spoil him with pleasure was giving it back to him and watching him lose his mind. He was so vocal and expressive and his filthy mouth was... _God_ Steve loved it all.   
  
But they didn't go any further than they already had over those first few days. They whiled the hours away together on the farm and had dinner at the palace just like before, socialized and ate and drank and had a grand old time with their friends before retiring back to Bucky's little hut and losing sleep in the best ways. It was a routine Steve was happy to keep to, and he didn't hear Bucky complaining either.   
  
On the third day, Bucky enlisted Steve's help with laundry, which he did the old fashioned way with a washboard and clothesline. Steve was, of course, more than happy to lend a hand and offered Bucky a shirt from his own bag to wear while his dried. Bucky didn't think anything of it and went inside to take him up on the offer while Steve kept at it, finding his bag and reaching inside to grab one of the ridiculous white t-shirts that Steve insisted on just barely squeezing his equally ridiculous torso into.   
  
And when Bucky felt a plastic-wrapped square box nestled in one of the inner side compartments, he couldn't help but let his inner nosiness creep to the surface and pull it out to see what it was. Whatever he'd been expecting, it most definitely was _not_ a variety pack of personal lubricants in various flavors and other special functions. He was so taken aback that he stared at the box with wide eyes for longer than he'd ever care to admit and then hurriedly shoved it back inside the bag, swallowing a sudden lump in his throat and wondering why his heart was racing.   
  
Then he stood up and shrugged the shirt on, almost walked into a wall, and smoothed his hair back before telling himself to get a grip and go back out there and act like he'd never seen anything. But he was glad he saw it - now he knew for sure that Steve had been thinking about it and wanted it, which put them on the same page.   
  
Naturally, from that point forward, Bucky could think of little else. But he played it cool as best as he could until later that night, long after the sun had set and left him with zero reasons to keep his thoughts to himself.   
  
He took Steve down to the little spring he liked to swim around and relax in, both shedding their clothes and slipping into the clean warm water, hidden by trees and enjoying all the privacy they could ask for. Bucky had a plan for how it was gonna go and for once... one of his plans finally worked out.   


* * *

  
  
It was a beautiful night. The stars in the sky were massive and gleaming, the water he was submerged in was warm and refreshing and there were even _fireflies_ flickering around them, as if it all wasn't picturesque enough. But Steve wasn't looking at the stars or the water or even the cute little bugs buzzing by; he was looking at the man currently quite happily nestled in his arms, back to Steve's chest as they lounged against a bank.   
  
He just couldn't get over how natural it felt, being together like they were and pressed to each other without a stitch of clothing anywhere, Bucky's head on his shoulder and Steve's arm slung across his chest. But with each passing day - each passing moment, even - it only felt more and more right. Bucky didn't seem to ever think twice now about reaching out and touching him, kissing him, initiating something deeper with sometimes just a look that still gave Steve goosebumps to be on the receiving end of. Steve thought it was only fair, then, to get to be able to touch him however he wanted, too.   
  
He pressed a gentle kiss to Bucky's temple, the affectionate touch making Bucky grin a little as his eyes stayed closed. Then Steve kissed his cheekbone, his jaw, eventually turning his head with his free hand so that he could reach not his lips but his neck. He knew Bucky liked that and he knew his favorite spots by now, too. He lingered at one, a gentle flick of his tongue against it prompting Bucky to groan faintly and murmur, "Just can't keep your hands off me, huh?"  
  
"Why should I?" Steve asked, a small grin playing on his lips as Bucky turned his head to meet his gaze. "Gotta enjoy it while I can, right?"  
  
"Don't let me stop you," Bucky replied, the gravelly quality of his voice doing things to Steve that he didn't even try to hide. He leaned down and kissed Bucky's lips and he wondered if it would ever stop feeling this good to touch him like this. He couldn't imagine living without it now that he knew how good it was.   
  
That initial gentle little kiss grew into many more, each one deeper and longer than the last until Bucky turned in his arms and pressed himself flush against him, arm curling around Steve's shoulders and mouth hungry as they languidly devoured one another. Steve's hands ventured under the water to grasp at Bucky's hips when he started rolling them, his breath hitching at the way their hardening lengths rubbed together in the process. Bucky broke the kiss to watch Steve through darkened eyes, his hips working out a lazy rhythm as he murmured, "Doesn't take much, does it?"  
  
"Could say the same for you," Steve shot back barely over a whisper, brows pinched as the sensations built and made his brain go hazy.   
  
Bucky's eyes fell to Steve's lips for a moment before he leaned in and kissed them again, grinding against him a little harder and pulling a low groan from his throat. He couldn't help it, Bucky felt too damn good like that and he knew it. But Steve wanted, _needed_ more and his hands acted of their own will, sliding further down and gripping Bucky's ass to pull him even closer, make the friction even better. Bucky seemed to like that, growling a little and biting Steve's lower lip as he broke the kiss to suck in a ragged breath.   
  
"Steve," he panted a little, eyes closed and cheeks flushed as Steve watched him, so close their noses brushed every few breaths. "God you feel good."  
  
Steve groaned his agreement and stole another kiss, both of them lost to it and lost to the pleasure building until Bucky pulled away one more time, words even more strained than before. "I want... I wanna feel you," he confessed, eyes opening to meet Steve's lust-heated and slightly confused gazed.   
  
"You are right now," he said with a breathless huff of a chuckle, their rhythm never faltering for a moment.   
  
"No, Steve," Bucky shook his head, briefly biting his lip before managing to get the words out. "I want... I want more. Wanna give you more."  
  
Steve's already pounding heart nearly fluttered out of his chest, heat racing up his spine as his hands tightened subconsciously. He was fairly sure he knew what Bucky meant, knew that this wasn't the first time he'd brought it up, but if he just assumed and it turned out he was wrong...   
  
"I know you want it," Bucky murmured, kissing him quickly but no less deep for how short it was. "Know you wanna fuck me. Know you think about it."  
  
Steve moaned and it was like every nerve in his body fired at once, the heat suddenly unbearable and his orgasm suddenly ready to crash through him any second. "God, _fuck_..."  
  
Steve's eyes were closed and he missed the way Bucky's lips upturned in a crooked grin at the unexpected curse. Steve was no Boy Scout when it came to language but Bucky hadn't yet coaxed such words out him yet during these more intimate encounters. But if this was how he could do that...   
  
"You can have me," Bucky told him, tone low and like velvet as their movements grew rougher and quicker, Steve's face and body giving away how unbearably close he was. "Tonight. You want me?"  
  
" _Yes_ ," Steve replied breathlessly before he could think twice about it, nodding and chasing his lips for a kiss. " _God_ I do, Buck, I want you."  
  
Bucky kissed him one more time, tongue moving filthy against Steve's before he murmured utterly wantonly, "Then take me to bed and fuck me, Steve."  
  
Steve lost it without warning, a shudder and a gasp leaving his lips before he moaned out a rushed and strangled "Oh fuck _fuck_ -"  and then he was gone. Bucky watched him through every second of it, eyes hungry as he soaked it all in and savored the way Steve trembled and gasped through it, until he was spent for the time being and let his head fall forward on to Bucky's shoulder.   
  
By the time everything made sense again and Steve was able to lift up his head and fully grasp what had just transpired, he realized he was still hard after all of that and so was Bucky. He also realized that Bucky was staring at him with the most lovingly obnoxious grin he'd ever seen in his life, and Steve wanted to both slap it off of him and grab him and kiss him into next week.   
  
"You know," Bucky drawled, a bit of his old cocky self floating to the surface, "seems like every time I talk about that... you shoot off like a damn rocket. Wonder why that is."  
  
Steve stared at him, breaths still a little labored and his pulse definitely still racing, the orgasm barely taking the edge off despite how good it had been. "I don't... I want to, Bucky, but I don't know what I'm doing and I'm... it makes me nervous that I'll hurt you. And if I hurt you..."  
  
"Aw, don't worry," Bucky shook his head, running a comforting hand down Steve's shoulder. "You're not gonna hurt me."  
  
"I could," Steve murmured with a tiny shrug.   
  
"Not if we take our time and do it right," Bucky replied, fingers tripping absently through Steve's beard. "Besides," he added with a rueful grin, "I, ah... I gotta be honest with you. I saw your giant pack of lube in your bag earlier, so... I think we're gonna be fine."  
  
Steve's expression turned from concerned and hesitant to blank and confused almost instantly. ".... What?"  
  
"I know I shoulda said something but I wasn't really sure _what_ to say, so I just -"  
  
"What giant pack of - _what_?" Steve squinted, cheeks suddenly burning again and Bucky looking equally confused now as they stared at each other. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"The fucking - the - when I got your shirt out of your..." Bucky trailed off and narrowed his eyes. "If you didn't put it in there, who did?"  
  
Steve was flabbergasted for all of three seconds until the obvious truth dawned on him. He sighed and muttered, "Nat. It had to be Nat."  
  
"... How close _are_ you two?"  
  
Steve laughed and shook his head. "She's always looking out for me. I guess I shouldn't be surprised."  
  
"And here I thought you came all prepared," Bucky grinned, leaning back and feigning great disappointment. "I'm hurt."  
  
Steve gave him a _look_. "Well if it makes you feel better, I did Google... some things. So I _was_ thinking about it."  
  
"You Googled it," Bucky chuckled, all affection in his eyes.   
  
"Yeah, didn't really have many other options," Steve smiled back, stating the obvious.   
  
"It's all right. I read some stuff too," Bucky admitted. "Had to know for sure what I was volunteering for, you know?"  
  
Steve watched him for a moment before huffing and smiling, "This is nuts, Buck."  
  
"Yeah, I know," Bucky laughed gently. "But so is everything. Being here, being alive when we both should have been dead a long time ago. I just wanna make the most of what time we've got."  
  
"You planning on going somewhere?" Steve asked, smile shrinking a bit in the wake of those more somber words.   
  
"Not if I can help it. I just know how things are and... some kind of bullshit always happens," Bucky shrugged. "I don't know. After everything we've been through... seems stupid not to do whatever the hell we wanna do when nothing's stopping us."  
  
Steve couldn't argue with logic as sound as that. He considered those words, eyes trailing down to the wet tips of Bucky's hair on his shoulders, dipping in and out of the water with the breaths they took. The moonlight above cast an unmistakable romantic light on the spring, on _them_ , and Steve knew what a gorgeous picture they made like this. He could draw it and paint it to the best of his ability and still never do it justice, but God knew he'd still try. Maybe he would someday.   
  
"All right," he murmured, giving Bucky a little nudge to his hip. "Let's get out of here."  
  
OOO  
  
On their way back to the hut, a crackle of thunder preceded an unexpected rainstorm that poured over them and made them suddenly feel like little kids again, laughing at the absurdity of the entire situation as they ran towards shelter. They were still laughing a little bit by the time they got there, drenched all over again and ducking under the low doorway clad in nothing but towels and holding armfuls of clothes that were just as uselessly wet as they were.   
  
The clothes were tossed aside and left to worry about later, Bucky saving them any potential awkwardness by grabbing Steve by the back of his head and kissing him before he could start rambling or ask Bucky how he wanted to get started. His plan worked perfectly as Steve almost immediately groaned into the kiss and deepened it, reaching down and tugging away the towel from Bucky's hips and smoothing his hands over the warm flesh. Bucky kissed him back just as hungrily and before he knew it, Steve was walking them back towards the bed and, when he pushed Bucky down on it and climbed over him with both determination and slight apprehension in his eyes, Bucky realized that this was really happening.   
  
Steve did too, laying Bucky down and taking a moment to gaze upon him, running the pad of his thumb along his jaw and the growing beard there. Then he took a breath and murmured, "You sure about this?"  
  
"Yes," Bucky smiled in exasperation, reaching up and pulling Steve closer, widening his legs to let him lay between them. "Trust me, Steve, if I don't like it I'll tell you. Don't worry about it. I'm here and I want it. Want you."  
  
Steve's eyes darkened and he leaned down for another hungry kiss, one that made them both groan quietly and clutch each other more tightly, bodies moving together and sharing heat and building it so effortlessly it was almost easy to forget what they were doing and just... let the sensations sweep them away. But Bucky didn't let Steve forget, breaking the kiss eventually and muttering, "Your bag's by the bed."  
  
That made Steve blink down at him and flush, a few wet strands of hair stuck to his forehead as he replied, "Oh. Yeah, right. Okay."  
  
He then scrambled halfway off of Bucky and leaned over the bed, tugging his bag closer and hurriedly rifling through it to find the items he hadn't even known were in there the whole time. Once his fingers brushed against the box buried in one of the inner side compartments, he paused and then pulled it out and stared at it with raised eyebrows   
  
".... Wow."  
  
"Yeah," Bucky chuckled. "You like passion fruit, right?"  
  
Steve glanced at him in a way that made Bucky's grin only widen as he began to tear off the plastic wrap from the box. "You know what, Buck..."  
  
"Sorry," Bucky continued to smirk, not really sorry at all and they both knew it. "I'll shut up."  
  
"No you won't. You can't," Steve replied with a knowing grin. "But here, I'll let you pick. Which one?"  
  
Bucky eyed the various little bottles in the package and let his smile fade a bit, a faint blush replacing his usual cool and smooth demeanor as he read the labels. "Maybe... just the... the normal one," he said after swallowing and blinking a few times. "We can try all that other shit later."  
  
"Okay," Steve nodded, grabbing that particular bottle and tossing the rest back into his bag. He was still going to kill Nat later but he had to admit, her nosiness had proved useful in this case. He'd thank her after giving her a hard time and tormenting her with a lack of details she'd surely demand.   
  
Steve then placed the bottle down on the bed next to them and hesitated as to what to do next, both of them looking at each other for a beat and not saying a word. Then Bucky blinked and started to turn over, asking quietly, "Do you... d'you want me like this or -"  
  
"Um..." Steve furrowed his brows and had a hard time processing the question, a sudden wave of anxiety and _oh no I have no idea what I'm doing_ crashing over him and leaving him useless for a moment.   
  
".... You still with me, Steve?" Bucky asked, expression concerned and suddenly almost as anxious as Steve's.   
  
But Steve snapped out of it with a slight shake of his head, blinking and nodding, "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." He looked Bucky over, halfway laying on his side now and flushed and still so incredibly hard and needing attention, and his decision came easy. "And no, I... I wanna see your face. Your eyes. Be able to kiss you still."  
  
Something in Bucky's eyes softened and it made Steve's heart thump. He'd expected Bucky to call him an old sap or something but instead he rolled back to lay flat on the bed and smiled at him, and somehow that was enough to lay some of Steve's anxiety to rest. He wasn't sure if it was the trust or the affection or maybe just _everything_ about what they had, but whatever it was, it took what could have been an awkward moment and turned it into something sweet and memorable.   
  
"You like kissing me, Steve?" Bucky teased as Steve settled next to him on his side, facing him and leaning over him to do exactly that.   
  
"You're damn right I do," he murmured against his lips, his left hand on Bucky's chest as they kissed lazily. "I love everything we do."  
  
"Me too," Bucky replied, hand slipping into Steve's hair and pulling him back for another kiss when he drew away. Steve let his hand roam down his chest and over his abs, taking his time and kissing slow and deep. He let instinct guide his every move, wanting Bucky as relaxed and aroused as possible before they got started, and the moan Bucky let out when Steve wrapped his hand around his length and started gently stroking let him know that he was doing a damn good job.   
  
Steve watched his his own hand work up and down, watched Bucky's hips roll up towards his fist and savored each groan he pulled from his kiss-swollen lips. He only stopped when Bucky reached down and grabbed the nearly forgotten bottle of lube, picking it up and uncapping it as he looked at Steve in a way that he couldn't possibly misinterpret.   
  
Jaw clenching briefly, Steve let go and then held out his hand and let Bucky pour the bottle over it. After pouring what might have been slightly too much, Bucky shut the lid and tossed it back down before meeting Steve's gaze. He didn't need to say anything and neither did Steve, both of them drawing together for another kiss as Steve let his hand venture somewhere new.   
  
Steve tried not to let his nervousness show in his touch, doing his best to ignore that little bit of slight leftover anxiety as he slowly let his fingers drag between Bucky's thighs, carefully pressing higher while Bucky slung his leg over Steve's to open up and make more room for him. All was quiet until the first real brush of his finger, at which point Bucky jerked slightly and hissed beyond his control.   
  
"You okay?" Steve asked gently, falling completely still.   
  
"Yeah," Bucky nodded. "Sorry. Keep going, m'fine." Steve kissed him and took his word for it, just touching and spreading the lube around, taking it slow, letting him get used to just that touch and relax into it.   
  
It seemed to grow on him after awhile, Bucky kissing him back a little harder and body becoming less tense, a few little sounds here and there making Steve suspect he might even enjoy it a bit. They stayed like that for a little while longer until Steve decided to take the next step, applying a little bit of pressure and paying careful attention to Bucky's cues. He trusted him to say if he needed to stop but that didn't make him any less determined to be as attentive as possible.   
  
Bucky's breathing became more deliberate but he handled the change fine, both of them locked in a furious kiss until Steve finally pushed one finger inside, just the tip. Bucky's breath caught and he tensed up, brows knitting and an obviously pained sound leaving his lips, and Steve was quick to hold still and give him a moment while kissing along his jaw, his neck, anything he could reach, to try to melt some of that tension away.   
  
"Sorry," he murmured just beneath Bucky's ear. "I'll stop if it's too m-"  
  
"No, God, don't stop," Bucky insisted, barely realizing the near-death grip he had on Steve's hair. "Just need a minute. Don't stop."  
  
"Okay, I won't," Steve assured him, continuing to kiss all over him and comfort him the only way that he could.   
  
It took a little while but when Bucky's breathing finally began to even out and his body relaxed again, he gave Steve the green light with a sweet kiss and then he started moving again, as gentle and careful as he could manage. He worked his finger in a little bit more with each stroke until Bucky could take it fully, sweat forming on his brow and eyes shut as he adjusted to the very new and unfamiliar sensations.   
  
"You doing okay?" Steve asked, kissing the corner of his mouth.   
  
"Yeah, yeah," Bucky nodded quickly, opening his eyes to meet Steve's. "It's... it's better now. Just keep going."  
  
Finding immense relief in those words, some of Steve's apprehension fell away and he focused fully on the task at hand, at getting Bucky ready and making this experience as good for him as he could. He could _feel_ him relaxing, accepting his touch now and even encouraging it once he started rocking back on his hand just a little bit. That was when Steve knew he was ready for more, and after a quickly murmured question to be sure, he added a second finger and watched Bucky's mouth fall open as he slowly worked him open.   
  
He took the second much easier than the first, breathing through it and willing his body to relax and accept it. Steve was fascinated by it all, by the way it felt and the way Bucky was so pretty and quiet as they shared this new experience together, and in the back of his mind he recalled a few of the things he'd read about... all of _this_. He kept his fingers moving steadily and rhythmically and decided to try a few things out, test if what he'd read online was true or not.   
  
They were in the midst of a lazily heated kiss the first time Steve curled his fingers. Bucky's breath hitched but he otherwise gave no other reactions, so on the next thrust of his hand Steve went a little deeper and did it again. This time it made Bucky's eyes pop open and his back arch off the bed and an incoherent noise of pleasure and bewilderment fly out of his open mouth, followed by a strangled " _What the fucking hell?!"  
_  
Naturally, Steve froze and instantly thought the worst. "Did that - did I hurt you or -"  
  
"No, God, _fuck no,_ that was - _oh my God_ , do it again," Bucky all but demanded, which was not was Steve had expected. Hoped for, yes, but certainly not expected.   
  
"Really?" he grinned in a way that was slightly dopey before answering the wriggling Bucky was suddenly doing with another thrust of his fingers, doing exactly what he'd done before and pulling another heart-stopping moan from  
Bucky's mouth.   
  
"Holy fuck, that's - _fuck_ ," Bucky rambled, looking down as if he'd be able to see how the hell Steve was making him feel what he was feeling. Instead he saw himself spread out on that little bed, Steve's hand between his legs making him feel something that Google had most certainly not fully prepared him for. Especially not when Steve kept doing it again... and again... and again.   
  
Within minutes Bucky was a writhing, whining mess, accepting a third and final finger with a slight wince that melted away once the pleasure started again. Steve watched him moan and rock down on his fingers in awe, mind blown by how much he was enjoying this and how good he made it look, how it had reduced him to a babbling wreck. They kissed hard and slightly sloppy through it all and Bucky kept his hand on Steve at all times, in his hair or on the back of his neck or on his shoulder, sometimes digging his fingertips into Steve's skin when it would all threaten to become too much.   
  
"Oh my God, Steve," Bucky whined breathlessly between kisses, " _fuck_ this feels - it's so fuckin'... I had no idea..."  
  
"Me either," Steve replied, expression and tone still utterly awestruck. "God, you look amazing like this."  
  
And he truly did. But nothing could compare to the sight of Bucky meeting his gaze at those words and giving him a crooked little grin before it faded entirely as his head fell back into the pillow beneath it, his back arching and an almost startled moan ripping from his lips as he came untouched. Steve watched it all unfold with wide eyes, from the way Bucky's chest heaved to how he shuddered head to toe and the mess he made all over himself.   
  
Turned out the Internet was even more helpful than Steve had initially realized.   
  
"Holy fuck," Bucky gasped as he melted into the sheets beneath him, breathing hard and blinking up at the ceiling like he had no idea what had just happened. Steve carefully removed his fingers and cleaned them off on one of their discarded towels while Bucky recovered, returning to his side quickly and grinning as Bucky turned his head stared at him dazed and sort of dreamy.   
  
"That was... more than I expected," Steve admitted, using the same towel to gently clean off Bucky's stomach and chest. "I mean... I knew what I was looking for, but... I didn't think that would happen like _that_."  
  
"You and me both," Bucky replied with a breathless laugh. "Oh my _God_. If I'd known what that felt like... we would have been doing this from the start."  
  
"That good, huh?" Steve grinned, tossing the towel aside and laying on his side next to Bucky, rolling him to face each other.   
  
"Yeah. You're gonna have to feel it one of these days, too," Bucky replied lowly, sending a sudden shiver down Steve's spine. "But for now," he pushed Steve down on his back and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips and tossing his hair back behind his shoulders, "we gotta finish what we started."  
  
Steve couldn't help but swallow down a sudden lump in his throat, the sight of Bucky on top of him and already hard again - or maybe just still hard, it was difficult to tell with enhanced men like them - something he hadn't been prepared for. His hands went to Bucky's hips automatically and Bucky leaned down, right hand planted on the bed next to Steve's head as he murmured just an inch from his lips, "So... you sure about this?"  
  
Steve stared up at him incredulously. "You really gotta ask me that? After everything we've done?"  
  
"It's your first time, Steve," Bucky replied gently, sincerely. "Can't have any doubts. No second thoughts. Gotta be sure this is what you want. And that you want it with me."  
  
"I want it, Buck," Steve whispered back, eyes never leaving Bucky's. "Nobody else I want it with."  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
Steve reached up and tucked one side of Bucky's hair behind his ears, a tender smile on his face as he replied softly, "If I wasn't I wouldn't be here. This is what I want. I want you."  
  
Bucky stared at him for a moment before smiling back and nodding, leaning down to give him a sweet little kiss. "All right, Steve. I'll make a man outta you."  
  
Steve immediately narrowed his eyes. "You sure got a mouth on you for a guy that's about to get fucked."  
  
Bucky's eyebrows shot up and he grinned as he drawled in a tone of mock outrage, " _Captain America_... in bed with his best friend... using language like that? What would the papers say? What a scandal... a symbol of virtue to the nation, naked and talking dirty and about to fuck another man in the -"  
  
"You know what," Steve laughed, grabbing Bucky's hips and easily flipping them over, both of them laughing as Bucky hit the mattress again. "Keep running that mouth, Buck. See where it gets you."  
  
"I don't know, I like where it's gotten me so far," Bucky grinned back, tossing a leg over Steve's hip and using it to pull him down lower. "And I kinda think you do too."  
  
"Jerk," Steve murmured with pure affection, leaning down and kissing him like it was the natural thing in the world. And at that point, it just might have been.   
  
A moment or two passed where they simply kissed and touched until they couldn't hold off anymore, Steve groping blindly along the bed looking for the damn lube again. When he couldn't find it Bucky started helping, eventually pulling it out from where it had been half wedged under his lower back. He offered it up to Steve with a smile that made them both laugh, Steve taking it and using it to get himself ready as they both felt their pulses pound in anticipation.   
  
"All right," Steve said as he lowered himself over Bucky, one hand lining them up while the other steadied himself on the bed, his sweat-dampened hair falling into his eyes. "Ready?"  
  
Bucky nodded, swallowing down a last minute flash of nerves. "Yeah, Steve."  
  
Steve took a shaky, unsteady breath and began to carefully and as gently as possible press forward, slipping inside of the other man as slowly as he could manage. Everything he'd imagined as far as what this would feel like, what it would be like to be inside of another person and feel that warmth and closeness... none of it could have prepared him for the real thing.   
  
All the air was sucked out of his lungs with each inch he painstakingly took, mouth slowly falling further open as he was engulfed by the mind-bending tightness and heat, but somehow he kept enough of his wits about him to never take his eyes off of Bucky and make sure that he was okay. He'd gone tense again and, by the time Steve was nearly fully seated, stopped breathing entirely and was holding to Steve's shoulder like he'd fall apart without him there to anchor him.   
  
"Hey," Steve whispered, voice strained and strangled but coherent, kissing the corner of Bucky's mouth to soothe him. "You okay?"  
  
"M'fine, just..." He sucked in a few shallow breaths and bit his lip, closing his eyes and seeming to concentrate. "Hold on."  
  
Steve was already still, kissing his jaw and his lips and his temple, anywhere and everywhere he could reach as he tried to soothe him, reminding him to keep breathing. He knew there was surely a big difference between taking a few fingers and taking _this_ , and he'd wait as long as it took, even if it killed him.   
  
It struck him how special this was, how incredible it was that after all of these years and all that they'd been through, they could share this kind of _first_ together. For all of Bucky's prior experience that he had on Steve, here the playing field was level and he liked that. There were no expectations or pressures or anything to take away from the newness of it all, and that was something that Steve used to think he'd never really get to have.   
  
But now here they were, closer than they'd ever thought they'd be, Steve watching as Bucky slowly relaxed and opened his eyes, telling him to start moving not with words but with a scratch of his short nails along Steve's shoulder and a lick of his hungry lips. Steve pressed their foreheads together and started slowly, cautiously rocking his hips, as determined to ease Bucky into it as he was to keep calm and not end things entirely too early despite how instantly overwhelmed he already was.   
  
It took a few moments but eventually Bucky adjusted, coming back to life beneath Steve and starting to move with him in small, gradually building thrusts of his own. Once he did, Steve let out a shaky breath and asked just a breath away from his lips, "Better?"  
  
"Much better," Bucky replied, hand sliding into Steve's hair to pull him down for a kiss. "You're just a lot to take."  
  
Steve grinned against his lips. "Yeah?"  
  
"Shut up and start fucking me, Steve," Bucky shot back, _really_ moving with him now. "I'm not gonna break."  
  
Steve lost his breath again, instinct taking over once again as he answered those words with a deep thrust that made them both moan, Bucky's head sinking deeper into his pillow and nearly hitting the wall behind it. Steve easily moved them down the bed a few inches and wrapped a hand over the top of Bucky's head, his fingers curling into his hair as he started working out a new and deeper rhythm that had him knowing in an instant, beyond a single doubt, that he wasn't ever gonna be able to get enough of this.   
  
It was all low groans and rough breaths as they hit their stride, Bucky getting his legs around Steve's waist and gasping out a moan at what the slight change of angle did for him. Steve took note of that and played around with their placement until he was holding up one of Bucky's legs and driving into him in a way that made Bucky nearly _shout_ just like he had before, and Steve knew he'd found the right spot again.   
  
"You feel amazing," he told Bucky breathlessly between a few rough and hurried kisses, the heat between them overtaking his body and pleasure blinding him. " _God, Bucky._.."  
  
" _More_ , Steve," Bucky gasped softly, both of them surprised by how greedy he was for this and how needy. "C'mon, I want it..."  
  
Steve couldn't think when Bucky talked like that, couldn't see or hear anything beyond the man beneath him and his overwhelming need to make him lose his mind again. "This what you want?" he asked lowly as he took him harder, faster, watching his mouth fall open and utterly wrecked noises come flying out of it.   
  
Bucky was a mess, tears stinging his eyes and body on the verge of exploding in a way he'd never felt before. " _Oh_ Steve, _fuck_ , I'm gonna come, I'm gonna -"  
  
Steve could feel it too, feel himself nearing the point of no return and he had no idea how he'd lasted as long as he had. "Go on, Buck, come for me," he whispered, too far gone to blush at his own words or have any filter left at all as he moaned and cursed, light bursting behind his eyes as he and Bucky came together.   
  
It washed over him like fire and water all at once, feeling it from the top of his head to the tips of his toes and everywhere in between. The only thing better than the mind-melting pleasure he felt himself was watching the same thing play out on Bucky's face, the wonder and the sweetness of it, the way every last bit of tension in his body and face melted away and left him in a state of utter peace and bliss.   
  
If Steve could, he'd stay with him forever in that euphoric state. He'd stay and hold him and they'd live forever like that, all their troubles and pain and past trauma a whole world away.   
  
But he couldn't. It didn't work like that. All the more reason, he thought as he buried his face in Bucky's neck and collapsed happily on top of him, knowing he could take his weight just fine, to steal as many of these carefree and incredible moments as they could.   
  
They stayed like that for as long as they could, until they were both nearly half asleep and a sudden loud rumble of thunder made them both jump. Then they both chuckled, Steve lifting off of Bucky and smiling down at him as he brushed away a few strands of hair from his flushed face. "Sorry."  
  
"S'okay," Bucky smiled back, his voice low and dripping with satisfaction. His eyes were heavy and a little watery, expression carrying that dreamy quality from before but even deeper this time as he stared up at Steve.   
  
Steve wasn't sure what to say, none of the words that came to mind feeling nearly good enough for a moment like this. He decided to say nothing at all and kiss him gently instead, lingering above him and both of them enjoying the calm after the storm.   
  
But eventually Steve _had_ to move and clean them up. He finally slipped out of Bucky and quietly apologized at the slight wince it caused him, leaving his side briefly and returning with a cool wet towel. It was hot in the little hut, damn near stifling after all the heat they'd generated within the small space.   
  
After he was finished, Steve slipped back into the bed and gathered Bucky into his arms, asking after Bucky winced at all the shifting around, "You okay?"  
  
"Sore," Bucky grinned up at him, happy to lay his head on Steve's chest. "But I expected that, so..."  
  
"Sorry," Steve grinned back, blushing a little.   
  
"Worth it," Bucky murmured, leaning up to give him a kiss. "So... how's it feel not being a virgin anymore?"  
  
Steve took a breath and smiled, looking away to feign giving the question very serious consideration. "Well... one thing I can say is... it ain't overrated, that's for sure."  
  
Bucky's smile widened. "Lived up to your expectations?"  
  
Steve shook his head. "No," he replied tenderly. "Exceeded them."  
  
"Good," Bucky said quietly, running his hand along Steve's chest absently, affectionately. "What kind of friend would I be if I let you miss out on one of the best parts of life, right?"  
  
"A terrible one," Steve joked back, lips brushing his forehead. "But you're... more than that now anyway, I think."  
  
He _felt_ the way Bucky paused at that, his easy and sleepy demeanor shifting to something a little more alert and maybe careful. Steve was afraid that he'd said too much or said the wrong thing until Bucky said, "Shuri asks me all the time _how's your boyfriend?_ and I always laugh because it just feels... strange, I guess. I mean," he gestured vaguely with his hand, "I guess that's the right word, but it just feels..."  
  
"... Silly?" Steve guessed. "Like we're kind of... past that already?"  
  
"Yeah, sort of," Bucky nodded. "I don't know if there really _is_ a word for you and me. For us."  
  
Steve could think of one word that instantly sprang to mind, but he decided to keep it to himself for the time being. He didn't want to risk letting the magic of the night slip away or be compromised in any fashion.   
  
".... Know what I just realized?"  
  
Steve blinked and opened his eyes, only then noticing that he'd shut them in the first place. "What?"  
  
"Our clothes from earlier are soaked," Bucky said. "And everything else was on the clothesline. And we didn't bring any of it in before the storm."  
  
"... Oh."  
  
"Yeah. So..." Bucky sighed and got more comfortable, closing his eyes with his arm draped loosely over Steve's middle. "Guess we're gonna be naked all day tomorrow."  
  
"That's... terrible news," Steve replied, not even trying to hide the grin on his face. "I don't know how we'll manage."  
  
"Me either," Bucky yawned. "Might as well just stay in bed, take the day off."  
  
"Yeah," Steve agreed, eyes closing and smile lingering. "Hopefully we'll figure out a way to stay occupied."  
  
"Mhm. Might have a few ideas."  
  
"I might have a few, too."  
  
Bucky groaned and pressed a sleepy kiss just under Steve's collarbone, mumbling against his skin, "Sleep first."  
  
"Sleep first," Steve agreed, brushing a soft kiss to Bucky's forehead and drifting off within seconds, safe and warm and happy to spend another blissful night in his favorite place on Earth.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Consider this an only slightly belated gift for our sweet lil Steeb's 100th birthday :) Hope you guys liked this chapter and are enjoying the progression of the relationship here. I just love these two so very much and I'm trying to do them the most justice I can. Thank you guys for the feedback and follows so much, I can't thank you enough! 
> 
> Also I'm on Tumblr now at murder-daddy-bucky (lol) so follow me if ya wanna and I'll love you forever :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys!! Thank you all so much for your feedback and kudos and support, you guys are the best and I love you :D my thanks to Morningglory2 for her help and ideas when I was terribly stuck mid-chapter, I love you <3 I hope you guys like this! Only one chapter to go :)

"How is it that you've got friends everywhere," Sam asked Natasha in between stuffing his face with the vaguely mysterious but delicious concoction on his plate, "all over the damn globe, and almost all of them just happen to be connected to food?"  
  
"Are you complaining?" Natasha retorted playfully, raising an eyebrow at him from across their small table in the restaurant's corner. "I think expanding your culinary horizons is an unexpected benefit of our little secret missions."  
  
"It is but I'm just saying," Sam gestured to their surroundings. "We're in the middle of nowhere, Turkey, and I have no idea what I'm eating but it might be the best thing I've ever had. Isn't this the best thing you've ever had, Steve?"  
  
Steve looked up from his plate and considered that for a moment, chewing his latest bite and swallowing before ultimately replying, "It's pretty damn good, but no. Not quite the best."  
  
"And what's the best?" Natasha asked. "Some burger you could only get a certain soda fountain in Brooklyn back in the good ol' days?"  
  
Steve gave her an amused look and shook his head. "Close, but no. Actually... to be honest, the food in Wakanda's the best."  
  
Sam groaned and tossed his hands in the air as he leaned back in his seat. "Aw hell, you're gonna rub it in like that? How long you gonna hold out on us?"  
  
"Relax," Natasha chuckled. "You know it's safer this way."  
  
"Doesn't mean I have to like it. When do I get my Wakandan vacation? Can I complain to HR? Oh wait that's right - we're international fugitives and I've got nobody to report my cruel and unusual treatment to."  
  
"I'll get right on that," Steve replied, wry grin on his face. "At least Nat keeps us well fed, right?"  
  
Sam made a pfft noise and stood up, replying, "And I keep us well hydrated. More drinks?"  
  
"Please," Nat smiled as Sam walked off to grab another round. She then turned her gaze to Steve who had pulled out his phone and was now smiling at it softly, and she knew the look well by now. He only smiled like that for one person. "How's the boyfriend?"  
  
Steve sighed and raised his eyes to hers. "Do you have to call him that?"  
  
"What else would you like me to call him? Your loverboy? Friend with benefits? Pretty sure boyfriend covers it best."  
  
Steve glanced back at his phone and gave a small shrug, smile growing a little. "To answer your question, he's doing great. Got a new arm."  
  
"Oh, fancy new Vibranium arm?" Natasha replied lightly. "That should be fun."  
  
"Yeah," Steve replied absently, reading over his and Bucky's texts without really paying attention. Then he blinked and realized what she was getting at, tossing her another slightly exasperated look before muttering, "You just can't help yourself, can you?"   
  
She shook her head and he merely smiled and turned his attention back to his phone. He wasn't sure where he'd be without Natasha, all good natured teasing aside.   
  
He and Bucky had been chatting off and on all day during their travels. They were chasing a lead through Turkey and would leave in the morning for Cyprus, but Steve always made time when he could to check his phone and see what Bucky was up to. Bucky had been particularly chatty today, both nervous and excited prior to heading to Shuri's lab to be fitted with the new prosthetic limb, and once it was on he'd sent Steve no less than three pictures and, rather adorably, a string of emojis expressing how pleased he was with it.   
  
_It's so much lighter,_ he'd said. _I can feel more with it, too. And it doesn't have the fucking star which might be the best part  
  
That's great_ , Steve had replied. _Hurt at all?_  
  
_Not at all. The kids are fascinated by it. I just lifted all three of them and swung them around at the same time with it  
_  
_Jesus, be careful,_ came Steve's reply. _But I'm real glad you like it  
  
I do. When you think you'll come by again?_  
  
_Not sure,_ Steve had replied honestly. Things were as unpredictable as ever these days. _Who's asking?_  
  
_Just a guy thinking about everything he can do with two hands  
  
;) _  
  
The silly winking emoji is what had caused Steve's little smile that Natasha had caught, and now, back in the present moment, he was typing his reply. _Can't imagine what all that might be_. He then locked his phone and set it on his thigh, reaching for his water glass and noticing out of the corner of his eye the way Nat was still watching him cheekily as he raised the glass to his lips. "What?"  
  
"You top, right?"  
  
He choked on the mouthful of water he'd picked the absolute worst time to drink, and Sam returned with drinks in hand before he could sputter out any kind of reply or Nat could press any further.   
  
Then, after assuring Sam he was fine and glaring at Nat a little bit for good measure, his phone buzzed and the lingering blush on his cheeks definitely wasn't going anywhere once he read Bucky's incoming text.   
  
_You don't have to imagine anything cause I'm gonna show you next time I see you_  
  
Steve read the words and willed himself to stay calm and ignore the sudden thrill in his veins and all the little images that burst forth in his head at lightning speed. Before he could do anything Bucky sent yet another message.   
  
_Miss you, Steve_    
  
Steve blew out a breath lightly, vaguely hearing Sam and Nat bickering amicably about something or another as his thumb tapped away at the keyboard. He didn't have to think about his reply, the words coming automatically.   
  
_Miss you too. Wish I was there_.   
  
And he truly did. He loved Sam and Nat and believed in what they were doing with everything in him, but at the risk of sounding unbearably sentimental... he'd left his heart in Wakanda. It was the only place he felt whole and like peace wasn't just some pleasant sounding but ultimately nonexistent concept.   
  
_Wish you were too,_ Bucky replied quickly, Steve reading the words quietly as he ate. _Your hands always feel better than mine_.  
  
Steve tried his best to hide the little grin trying to break through the surface but he just couldn't help himself. The instant flash of memories through his mind left a flush on his cheeks, each of them vivid enough to feel. The way Bucky's lips parted as he moaned into Steve's mouth when Steve touched him, stroking him the way he liked it, hard and smooth and pulsing under his hand...   
  
_Wish I had my hands on you right now_ , Steve replied, feeling a rush of excitement in sending those words that he hadn't anticipated. It was also extremely bad timing for the entire idea but he couldn't change that now. All he could do was set his phone back down and join back in on the conversation while his mind continued to drift further and further away, wondering what Bucky was doing during this particular exchange and what he'd say next.   
  
He was listening to Natasha recount their last mission and how she'd saved Sam from having his head vaporized by the strange Chitauri tech they were hunting down ("Face it, Wilson, you'd be lost without me." "You're right, it's all dumb luck that I survived so long without you." "I'm glad you agree.") when he felt his phone buzz again. Heart thudding with another rush of nerves, he swiped the screen and got a whole lot more than he bargained for.   
  
_Guess I'll have to settle for mine instead_ was Bucky's reply, just underneath a picture he'd sent. And it wasn't just any picture. It was one he'd taken of himself, sprawled out on his little bed with his pants pushed down seemingly hastily with his brand new vibranium hand wrapped around his hard and very much exposed length, grasping it and showing it off and -  
  
Steve's brows knit together and he stopped breathing without realizing it. He didn't hear Nat saying his name until it was too late, when she was leaning over to glance down and see what the hell was so interesting on his phone that he was ignoring her question of whether he wanted dessert or not.   
  
".... Oh," she said remarkably nonchalantly, one eyebrow arched as she tilted her head. "That's a hell of a... cocker spaniel."  
  
Choking on absolutely nothing yet again, Steve then grasped his phone so clumsily and erratically that he ended up knocking it on the floor near his feet with a loud and conspicuous clank. He cursed and dove under the table to grab it, the screen still open to the damn picture, and when he banged his head on the edge of the table on his way up, he cursed again and Sam stared at him like he'd suddenly sprouted three new heads.   
  
"You okay, man?"  
  
"I'm fine," Steve shook his head, face aflame and body flushed with both the good and bad kinds of heat. He was gonna kill Bucky for this.   
  
".... You sure about that?" Sam asked skeptically while Nat continued to remain incredibly passive, though the glimmer in her eye gave away just how much hell she was gonna give Steve later over this.   
  
"Yes," Steve muttered through gritted teeth. "Excuse me," he added quickly, deciding he needed a moment or two or ten to collect himself. Phone shoved down into his pocket, he stood up and made a beeline for the men's room.   
  
Back at the table, Sam blinked and asked Nat, "Did you say something about a dog?"  
  
The bathroom was empty and small, only one stall to speak of, and Steve threw himself inside of it and locked it before letting out a deep sigh and leaning his head back against the door. Before he could think twice about his next course of action, he reached down and grabbed his phone, jabbed at the screen twice and then placed it to his ear.   
  
Bucky answered after one and a half rings. "Hey, pal," he drawled, amusement more than clear in his teasing, velvety tone.   
  
"The hell do you think you're doing, Buck?" Steve rasped, trying to sound angry but instead sounding merely uselessly aroused. "I'm at a restaurant."  
  
"Well, how was I supposed to know that?" Bucky chuckled, entirely unfazed. "Figured you were in bed too, the way you were talking to me."  
  
Steve dragged his free hand over his face, rubbing at his eyes. "You can't just... can't just send me pictures like that outta nowhere. I need some warning."  
  
"All right, fair enough," Bucky mused. "From now on I'll let you know first whenever I feel like showing you what I'm doin' to myself."  
  
Steve paused, biting his lip unconsciously. "Yeah. Please do."  
  
".... But you liked it, right?"  
  
Steve's eyes rolled shut and he knocked his head back against the door again. His pants were entirely too tight and he just wanted to reach down and take himself in hand and... but he couldn't and damn Bucky for doing this to him. "What do you think?"  
  
Bucky's chuckle was entirely too self-satisfied for Steve's liking. "Thought you would. God I miss you, Steve."  
  
"I miss you too," Steve replied tenderly, unable to help himself. His eyes flew open when Bucky responded with a moan, low and faint but unmistakable. "Bucky, are you -"  
  
"Just the sound of your voice, _fuck_ ," Bucky nearly gasped, undoubtedly working himself with each word he spoke, maybe even with the new vibranium hand like in the picture. "You're killing me, Steve."  
  
".... I'm killing _you_?" Steve asked incredulously. "Buck -"  
  
" _God_ if you were here," Bucky murmured, interrupting whatever Steve had planned to sputter out. "If you were here I'd hold you down and ride you til we both fuckin' lost it."  
  
The sound that left Steve's throat was some kind of strangled mix of a moan and a gasp, and his free hand slipped down to rub over the growing hardness in his pants seemingly of its own will. "You gotta stop, Buck, or I'm..."  
  
"You're what? Gonna come all over yourself? Wouldn't be so bad, would it?"  
  
"Fuck," Steve groaned, touching himself more firmly, more purposefully, all the reasons why he shouldn't do this seeming to fade under the desire. "You never fuckin' listen, do you?"  
  
Bucky chuckled, knowing he had him now. "Shut up and let me hear you moan, Steve."  
  
"You're gonna pay for this later," Steve muttered, unzipping his pants and taking himself fully in hand, damn all his better judgment. Bucky had no idea what he was in for once Steve made his way back to Wakanda, that much was certain.  
  
"I sure fuckin' hope so."  
  
\---  
  
As unexpected as the little bathroom incident was for Steve, even more so was the rough turn the mission took in Cyprus. Their target was well prepared in his little bunker, more so than they had anticipated, and while they still took him and his terror cell down in the end, it cost Sam the use of his right arm for the next six weeks or so.   
  
It was stupid, _stupid_ , and Steve had watched the whole thing as it happened. Sam had been covering Nat on the ground, dropping down from the sky to intervene when they were pinned down. Eventually he ran out of ammo in his guns and it came down to hand to hand, and his arm had snapped under the booted foot of a particularly large thug.   
  
Sam, of course, brushed it off after the fact like it was nothing. He'd broken his arm on a playground when he was 9, he said - same one and everything. No big deal, it'd heal, and the injury wasn't anyone's fault but the man who'd inflicted it.   
  
But the thing was, Steve already internalized a ridiculous amount of guilt and Sam's broken arm was the straw that broke the camel's back. When he had first met Sam he had been living a stable life with a stable, valuable job, the rest of his life ahead of him to do whatever the hell he wanted. Now he was an international fugitive who had to watch out for police and traffic cams, his life on hold while he risked it on their secret missions. This time it was a broken arm but maybe next time...   
  
But of course, Sam wasn't having any of that. In fact, once Steve's brooding became unbearable, Sam all but threw Steve out of their safe house one afternoon and said, "Go get on the Quinjet and go take another vacation."  
  
Steve had, naturally, protested immediately. "But Sam -"  
  
"But nothing," Natasha interjected, tossing Steve's own bag at him which she had taken the liberty of packing for him. "Go before you drive us both up the wall."  
  
Steve eyed them both with a distinct lack of amusement. "You can't just banish me to Wakanda."  
  
"The hell I can't," Sam retorted. "You always come back all bright and shiny and shit and you could use some of that right now, so..." He gestured to the front door with his good arm. "Go on, man."  
  
In the end, Steve couldn't argue with either one of them. He hugged them both and made them promise to contact him at the slightest hiccup, and then he was off and using the coordinates he'd long since memorized to visit Wakanda once again. 

  
He felt lighter as soon as he entered the hidden nation's airspace. It was early afternoon when he touched down and made directly for Bucky's hut, knowing that their gracious royal hosts wouldn't mind if Steve skipped the formalities for now.

He saw Bucky as soon as he began his descent down the hill that led to the farm, working on the fencing and hammering away on a section that he was repairing. His new left arm glinted in the sunlight, dark metal overlaying the golden vibranium base, and to Steve's surprise... he was shirtless.

He was also alone, not surrounded by the neighbor children like Steve was used to. Steve didn't realize how much he was smiling already until Bucky paused in his hammering and glanced over his shoulder, long hair down and a mess around his face. Bucky's expression instantly shifted from focused and slightly grumpy to surprised and then delighted, a gorgeous crooked smile gracing his features as he dropped the hammer to the ground and straightened up as Steve approached.

"Would it kill you to give me some warning one of these days?" Bucky asked, grin widening as Steve closed in on him.

"In my defense, I didn't know I was coming today either," Steve chuckled, opening his arms and pulling Bucky into a warm hug. He was sweaty and sticky and smelled like the farm and Steve couldn't have possibly cared less. Everything about him felt like home.

"I guess I can let it slide," Bucky murmured as they pulled away just far enough to look at each other. "How long you here this time?"

"Don't know yet," Steve replied, looking over Bucky's new arm and reaching down to take his hand. He lifted it up to gaze at his fingers, the intricate design and details fascinating him. He rubbed his fingers over his knuckles and then pressed a kiss to them, feeling a little silly about it until he peeked up and saw the way that Bucky was looking at him.

Reaching his flesh hand behind Steve's head, Bucky pulled him close and kissed him slow and sweet. Their hands still entangled, Steve kissed him back and slid his free arm around Bucky's waist, every point of contact between them a soothing balm to his very soul.

The kiss was lazy and perfect, neither of them wanting to part when they did but needing the air. Steve leaned his forehead against Bucky's and muttered, "I've missed you, Buck."

Bucky grinned at him. "Missed you too, pal." Then they were kissing again, hands untangling to hold each other closer as they kissed more deeply this time.

Bucky was so warm and tasted so sweet and so comforting, everything about him making every inch of Steve come to life. The very moment their tongues brushed together and Bucky's hands grasped Steve's hips through his jeans, Steve was ready to drag Bucky inside and toss him down on the bed, pull his pants off and slip between those strong legs of his and -

 _Thwack_.

Steve jolted away from Bucky with a loud smack of their lips, having just been pelted in the head with - _what the hell was that_? "What the -"

Bucky merely sighed and rolled his eyes, gesturing to the nearby large tree that his goats were basking in the shade of. "It's the kids. They're up in the tree."

Steve furrowed his brows at Bucky and then squinted up at the tree, where he did indeed spot the three laughing children as they began to toss more tree nuts their way. Steve sighed and waved at the kids, smiling when they began to shout their nickname for him - _uzulani_ , or nomad - along with a string of other words Steve couldn't understand.  
"What are they saying?"

Bucky grinned at Steve and shrugged, "Pretty sure I heard the word _husband_ in there somewhere."

Steve chuckled and shook his head, glancing up at the kids again and catching one of the nuts mid-air. He tossed it back to them with a precision that made them ooh and ahh, and then Steve turned back to Bucky and said, "Can we go inside for a few minutes?"

"Why?" Bucky smirked despite knowing exactly why.

"Because," Steve replied quietly, reaching between them and looping his index finger into one of the belt loops of Bucky's weathered jeans. He looked Bucky in the eyes and added, "I wanna... talk to you a minute."

Glancing down at Steve's finger curled around his belt loop, Bucky chuckled, "Talk, huh? Is that all you wanna do?"

"What do you think?" Steve asked rhetorically before stealing another kiss, both of them smiling into it.

"Easy there, pal," Bucky grinned, gently pushing him away. "I've gotta finish this damn fence."

Steve tried not to pout, he really did, but he might have anyway. Just a little bit. "I'll help you finish it later."

Bucky shook his head, backing up and picking the hammer up off of the ground. "Work first, play later."

Steve narrowed his eyes at him playfully, running a hand through his now-mussed hair and watching as Bucky turned around and got back to work. He wasn't surprised - Bucky had always been the responsible one, after all.

He took a deep breath full of the warm, clean air and then stepped up next to Bucky, grabbing a piece of wood and getting to work with him. They shared a brief, knowing grin and then worked together to get the fence done, finishing it in half the time Bucky would have spent on it otherwise.

And the minute it was done, Steve dragged Bucky into the hut for the talk that he'd wanted to have with him so badly.

\---

  
" _Fuck_ , Steve," Bucky moaned breathlessly as he rocked himself up and down in Steve's lap, both of them naked and slick with sweat and clinging to each other tightly as they moved together. Steve's hands were on Bucky's hips but Bucky didn't need any support to fuck himself on Steve's cock as hard and fast as he wanted, metal hand curled in Steve's hair and the other clutching his shoulder, body rolling with the motions like some kind of dream that Steve couldn't take his eyes off of.

Steve watched him in awe, overcome with the sensations and the sights and the perfection of it all, the way that they fit and moved together and how easy and right it was. The slight furrow of Bucky's brow, the sweat-dampened long dark hair in his face, the way that his gorgeous mouth hung open and let out the sweetest sounds... how had Steve ever lived without this?

"Buck," Steve groaned, hands sliding up his back and then down again, smoothing over his ass before gripping it tight. Steve kissed over Bucky's chest and collarbone, lips kissing and dragging over the jagged scars on his left shoulder and not shying away from them, groaning into his skin as Bucky rode him relentlessly.

Bucky gripped his hair and wrenched his head back, leaning down for a gloriously sloppy kiss that both of them moaned into. "Close, Steve?" Bucky asked against his lips, body trembling and thrusts growing erratic.

"So close," Steve panted, reaching up to brush back Bucky's hair from both of their faces. "Faster, baby, please..."

He hadn't meant to let that word slip out, the term of endearment feeling silly the minute it hit his ears, but his knee-jerk embarrassment faded when he peeked up to find a sweet, surprised smile on Bucky's face. Bucky cupped his jaw and leaned in for another kiss, this one slower and sweeter even as his body started moving faster, driving them both to the edge of bliss. They tumbled over together, holding each other tight and gasping against each other's lips, their reunion as sweet and as exquisite as Steve had hoped that it would be.

Not that he had ever really had a doubt. Bucky stayed right where he was as they recovered, arms wrapped around Steve and head resting on his shoulder, bodies still very much joined together. Steve closed his eyes and enjoyed the closeness, fingertips tracing along Bucky's spine and mind more at peace than it had been since... well, since the last time he'd been here with him.

"Fuck," Bucky groaned when he finally straightened up, expression one of pure satisfaction as he looked Steve over. He leaned back and dragged his eyes over the mess he'd made on Steve's stomach and chest, lips quirking up in a smirk. "You know, Steve," he said lowly, eyes lifting back up to meet Steve's hooded ones, "You look good covered in my come."

Steve raised an eyebrow, pretending that those words and the low purr of Bucky's voice hadn't made him shiver. He licked his lips and pondered his answer, settling on the first one that came to mind. "You look good with my cock inside you."

Bucky chuckled and leaned in to kiss him, muttering, "I bet I do," before capturing his lips in a sweet, lazy kiss. "Sure feels good."

"Yeah?" Steve murmured, tucking his hair behind his ear. "What's it feel like?"

Bucky paused, searching for the right words. "It's... hard to even put into words," he began, biting his lip as his eyes drifted down. "It feels... full. More full than you can imagine. It's so different from anything else, but it's fuckin' amazing and... then when you hit that spot over and over..." He shook his head and grinned up at Steve. "You know what it does to me."

"Yeah," Steve mused, mulling those words over, expression contemplative.

"Why? You curious?" Bucky grinned.

Steve gave a non-committal shrug, trying to play it cool. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Bucky repeated with amusement. "You been thinking about takin' my cock up that pretty little ass, Steve?"

Steve's blush was instant and uncontrollable, unpleasantly hot in his cheeks as he sighed and replied, " _Pretty_?"

"Everything about you's pretty," Bucky pointed out, stealing a quick little kiss from his lips. "Always has been."

Steve stared at him, a little surprised at those words as they hung between them. He opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by a sudden and quick series of little knocks on the door.

"Fuckin' hell," Bucky grumbled before quickly sliding off of Steve's lap, both of them immediately on a mission to clean up as quickly as possible. Bucky tossed Steve a towel and then yelled towards the door to wait a minute as they quickly toweled off and then tossed clothes on, Bucky grabbing Steve's shirt and throwing it on and leaving Steve with just his jeans to redress in. He'd just finished buckling his belt when Bucky opened the door just enough to stick his head out.

Steve hung back and listened as Bucky spoke in Xhosa to the kids, who were the unsurprising culprits for the interruption. They talked back and forth for a moment until Bucky sent them back on their way and shut the door, turning around and grinning, "Sorry about that."

"What'd they want?"

"There's a festival in the village today," Bucky replied. "Sounds like it might be fun. They wanted to know if we wanted to go."

Steve nodded. "Do you want to?"

"Only if you want to," Bucky replied with a slight shrug.

Steve nodded again, not really having to contemplate the matter. How long had it been since he'd done anything just for fun, let alone just for fun with Bucky by his side? "Well... I'll need a shirt."

\---

Bucky kept Steve's shirt and lent him one of his own. Steve liked that, even though the shirt was just barely a bit too snug on him.

They went to the festival as planned, the afternoon and early evening cooling down with the help of a luxurious breeze that swept through their little corner of the nation. The village was an outlying one found on the other side of the hill, a smaller but lively one that came together to have a good time that night.

There was musicians playing catchy and hypnotic tunes, merchants selling handmade goods, mouthwatering foods of all different sorts being cooked to order, and most important of all, people talking and laughing and enjoying one another's company. It had been way too long since Steve had seen anything like it.

The kids quickly caught up with them and started leading them around, pointing them in the direction of the best food and making sure they tried everything they could. Steve could see in Bucky's eyes and genuine smiles how much he loved it here and how much he loved the people, the kids, everything about Wakanda. It made Steve's heart feel less heavy and burdened to see him so happy and so free, but it didn't lift the weight of the world from his own shoulders. He wished that it did.

As they strolled through the festival, Steve's mind eventually drifted a million miles away only to be pulled back to the present by Bucky unexpectedly taking his hand in his flesh one and interlacing their fingers, walking together like any regular couple would. Steve glanced at Bucky in surprise and Bucky only smiled, no words needed.

It really was a perfect day, Steve had to admit. And yet by the end of it, as they made their way back to Bucky's hut, Steve still felt that heaviness that he just couldn't shake. He knew that it showed on his face and that Bucky knew it.

"So.... let me guess," Bucky said as he sat down in the grass on the hill overlooking the river he liked to swim in, the same one he and Steve had slept beneath the stars on some months prior. "Mission went bad?"

Steve sighed and sat down next to him, staring down at his hands as he dropped them to his lap. "That obvious?"

"I can tell when something's eating you," Bucky replied softly. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't wanna."

Steve gave a brief shake of his head. "Sam got hurt. Nothing critical, just a broken arm, but... it's not the injury itself. It's what could have happened. It's... it's the whole damn mess I've dragged him and everyone else I care about into."

Bucky nodded, fiddling with a blade of grass between his metal fingers. "They chose that, though. They could have chosen the other side."

"Still not right," Steve muttered. "Sam, he had a life before all of this. So did Nat, so did Wanda. Everyone."

"What about you?"

Steve huffed a humorless laugh. "Yeah, what about me."

Bucky lifted his eyes from the grass to his friend, his tone gentle as he murmured, "Steve..."

"That's part of what's getting to me," Steve said, brows furrowed and eyes still cast down on his fidgeting fingers. "I can't see past the next fight. I haven't been able to in a long time. And when I'm here with you, I feel better, I feel... I feel okay. But I know it won't last and that soon enough I'll go back and... I don't know what I'm doing."

"You're helping people," Bucky replied. "It's all you've ever done. You fight the battles they can't."

"That's what I've tried to do," Steve stressed. "But I don't know if I am anymore."

"Then stop," Bucky shrugged. "Stay here with me. You've given the world enough, Steve. You gave it enough a long time ago."

Steve finally met Bucky's gaze, a brokenness evident in his eyes that Bucky hated to see but knew all too well. "Would you believe me if I said staying scares me more than leaving?"

Bucky's expression grew pained, a tightness in his features that made Steve's heart ache. "I already know that. And I get why you feel that way. I do. When you're fighting and focusing on the next mission you don't have time to sit and wonder what the hell you're doing with your life and what's gonna be left of it when you're old."

The mere mention of such an idea left Steve's skin feeling prickly, his nerves on edge. He hated feeling that way more than anything but he didn't know how to stop. He looked away, taking a deep breath and trying to center himself before a panic attack could take root and ruin the entire rest of the night.

"Hey," Bucky murmured gently, getting up to his feet and reaching for Steve's hand. "C'mon, get up." When Steve looked up at him hesitant and unsure, Bucky added, "We're both broken kids in the wrong year and the wrong place. Nothing's ever gonna fix that. But it doesn't mean we gotta be miserable."

Steve took his hand and let Bucky pull him up to his feet, his brain needing a moment to decipher what it was about that sentence that struck him as so very different. Then he realized it - everyone had been calling him an old man for so long that he'd almost started to believe it. But in truth he and Bucky were so very, very young, barely in their 30s in terms of actual lived years. They were too young to carry so much, too young to have seen so much and endure the things that they had.

But yet here they were, still standing and still breathing and, even more odds-defying, still together. Steve stared at Bucky, wondering what he had up his sleeve as he glanced up at the beautiful, clear starry night sky above them.

"Y'know," Bucky said, eyes still on the stars, "I remember I used to be real romantic. Or I tried to be, anyway."

"Yeah, you were," Steve mused. "The girls loved you."

Bucky nodded, eyes falling to the ground beneath their feet as he chuckled, "I remember taking one up on a roof in Brooklyn on a night like this in the summer - '38, maybe - and dancing with her under the stars. She loved it."

"I bet she did," Steve replied with a half-smile, looking out over the hill towards the river. It was the picture of serenity, and just looking at it made Steve feel a little more at ease.

"Wanna dance with me, Steve?"

Steve whipped his head around in surprise, finding Bucky looking a bit unsure as he smiled at him and waited for his answer. Steve blinked and raised his eyebrows. " _Me_?"

"Yeah you," Bucky laughed softly, shifting on his feet a bit and suddenly Steve realized - he was nervous.

"I don't... I've still never danced," Steve replied, now nervous too. "And there's no music, either."

Bucky was quick to fish his phone out of his pocket, noting with a grin, "I can change that."

Steve watched in surprise as Bucky scrolled through what appeared to be a fairly lengthy music library before settling on one, checking that the volume was as high as it would go and then setting up the phone on the ground. Then as the opening notes to the song began to play, Steve recognizing the tune instantly, Bucky held out his right hand in an open invitation, expression still just a little nervous, and Steve couldn't help but smile.

"Don't complain when I step on your feet," Steve said, taking Bucky's hand and letting him pull himself closer. He felt a little awkward and irrationally nervous but the minute Bucky's metal arm was around his waist and his right hand fingers interlacing with his own, he immediately felt more at home.

"I think I can handle it," Bucky replied with a smile mirroring Steve's own, and then he started slowly moving them about, the vibrant green grass rustling beneath their feet.

 _I'll be seeing you_  
_In all the old familiar places_  
 _That this heart of mine embraces_  
 _All day and through_

The music washing over them, Steve let out a deep breath and let himself relax as Bucky led their dance. He simply felt too comfortable in Bucky's arms to be nervous, knowing that if he did step on his feet or make a fool out of himself, Bucky wouldn't care. And as they swayed about, Steve had to admit... it was kinda nice.

 _In that small cafe_  
_The park across the way_  
_The children's carousel_  
_The chestnut trees, the wishing well_

 _I'll be seeing you_  
_In every lovely summer's day_  
 _In everything that's light and gay_  
 _I'll always think of you that way_

"You ever dance to this with a girl, back in the day?" Steve asked. He felt Bucky's slight chuckle against his neck.

"Probably. Some of those memories are fuzzy," he admitted. "You probably remember better than I do."

Steve sighed, those words definitely ringing true. He laid his head down on Bucky's shoulder and watched as fireflies flickered by, replying, "You always made it look so easy."

"It's only really easy when it's with the right person," Bucky murmured, nuzzling the back of Steve's head. "See?"

Steve smiled to himself and closed his eyes. "Yeah. Guess you're right."

 _I'll find you in the morning sun_  
_And when the night is new_  
 _I'll be looking at the moon_  
 _But I'll be seeing you_

All those years, Steve never would have guessed that one day the right person would be Bucky. But every new step they took together, including sharing Steve's first-ever dance under the stars, never felt anything but natural and right. It was a balm to Steve's soul, a much-needed one in his current state.

Then Bucky brought a wide smile to Steve's face by gently putting distance between them only so that he could slowly twirl Steve out and then pull him back in. Steve laughed until they were chest to chest again, not thinking anything of pulling him in for a kiss the moment they were close enough. They both smiled into the kiss, the song that they'd danced to coming to a close and leaving them standing in the near-silence of the night.

Bucky ran his fingers through Steve's hair, eyes falling to Steve's lips and slowly flickering back up as he murmured, "I've got an idea."

"What's that?" Steve asked quietly, hands finding Bucky's hips over his jeans.

"Let's go home," Bucky said, leaning in for one more short, sweet kiss, "and I'll show you."

Steve quirked an eyebrow but Bucky merely smirked and picked up his phone, pushing it into his pocket before taking Steve's hand and leading him back to his hut.

Steve wasn't sure to what to expect, but the luxury of trusting Bucky fully in whatever it might be was something he'd never take for granted.

\----

"Clothes off. Lay back on the bed."

Steve tilted his head and smirked as he reached down for the hem of his shirt. "Givin' me orders tonight, Buck?"

Bucky grinned as he stepped out of his boots, undressing as Steve did the same. "Not really. That's not what I wanna do."

Shirt on the floor, Steve quickly did away with the rest of his clothes and then laid back on the bed, pushing up until his head hit the pillow. "What do you wanna do?"

Bucky, his shirt gone and stepping out of his jeans, now as naked as Steve was, lifted his eyes and let them rake over the sight that Steve made. He was sprawled out on the small bed, one arm laying behind his head and his other hand resting low on his stomach, not quite touching his already semi-hardness. After letting his eyes feast for a moment, Bucky smirked and made his way to the bed.

He slowly climbed over Steve and crawled his way up until he was sitting on his hips. Then he leaned back and started tying up his hair into a messy knot as he replied, "What I wanna do is take care of you, Steve."

Steve slid both hands up and over Bucky's legs, smoothing over his thighs, watching Bucky's muscles roll and stretch with his movements as he replied, "Yeah? What d'you have in mind?"

Bucky grinned, hair back now save for a few messy face-framing pieces. "Why don't you turn over and find out?"

Never one to back down from a challenge, Steve responded with a little smirk before easily rolling over beneath him. He hugged the pillow under his head to get comfortable and glanced back as Bucky reached over to the tiny little stand next to his bed.

"You've been so tense since you got here," Bucky said quietly, voice the tone of velvet. "Even after we fucked earlier. Wanna get you relaxed and loose for me..."

Steve would have raised an eyebrow at Bucky's choice of words had he not been distracted by a warm drizzle of what he soon realized was massage oil across his broad shoulders. Two hands, one warm and soft and the other cool and hard, rubbed it gently into his skin as Bucky shifted into a more comfortable position over his hips. Then he started massaging Steve's tight muscles, gentle but firm, and Steve couldn't help but close his eyes and groan into his pillow.

"Feel good?" Bucky grinned, carefully working out each knot that he found. Steve merely groaned again and sunk further into the sheets, and Bucky was quite pleased with himself as he kept on.

Bucky was thorough in his efforts, leaving no part of his back untouched and paying attention to his arms too, even rubbing his thumbs into Steve's palms. It was oddly incredible, Steve thought, soaking each and every touch up until he was a boneless pile of relaxation just as Bucky had wanted. Even the cool, unyielding touch of the vibranium felt like heaven.

"When the hell did you get so good at that?" Steve asked, eyes closed and half asleep as Bucky leaned down and pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades. " _Fuck_."

"Still with me, or do you need a nap?" Bucky asked teasingly, kissing up to the back of Steve's neck as his hardness rubbed against Steve's ass. "'Cause I'm only getting started." Then he bit down sharply before soothing over the spot with his tongue, and Steve jolted with a moan.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm awake," he grinned, trying to look at Bucky over his shoulder. Bucky grinned back and leaned in just long to steal one single kiss that didn't last nearly long enough, and then he was slowly trailing his lips down Steve's spine and peeking up as Steve continued to watch.

Steve laid his head back down once Bucky's lips had reached his lower back, flesh and metal hands reaching up to cup his ass and gently knead it. Bucky pulled away just far enough to admire and watch his hands play and touch, licking his lips before murmuring, "Gotta admit... I've always loved this cute little ass."

Steve opened his mouth to retort but fell silent when Bucky's thumbs softly pulled his cheeks apart, leaving him feeling suddenly very exposed. He felt his face grow hot and pressed it further into the pillow, listening as Bucky added casually, "And I might have gotten off a few times thinking about getting my cock inside of it."

Groaning softly at those words, Steve was on the verge of asking for elaboration when Bucky rendered him speechless with a sharp little slap to his ass with his right hand. Steve gasped and reeled, whipping his head around and looking at Bucky in surprise and more heat than even Bucky had expected.

"You like that?" Bucky asked with a grin before delivering another slap, sending Steve's head back down to the pillow and another moan flying from his lips. Bucky bit his lip and murmured, "I'll take that as a yes. Wonder what else you might like..."

Steve was once again cut off from answering by Bucky gripping his hips and yanking him up to his knees, chest still flat on the bed and hands gripping the sheets as he was pulled away from the pillow. It was a vulnerable position and Steve felt even more exposed now but then there was Bucky's lips kissing up his back and his right hand on Steve's cock, stroking slow and lazy as Steve groaned into mattress. " _God_ , Buck..."

Bucky's metal hand slid up Steve's spine to the back of his neck, closing around it in a gentle hold without pressure. It took Steve's breath away in the best way, made him feel as powerless as it did safe. He couldn't make sense of it but he didn't need to - this was Bucky, and that was all he needed. He was all he needed.

But that didn't mean Steve was suddenly a docile, submissive creature. On the contrary, he was running out of patience thanks to Bucky's leisurely pace and the soft kisses he was peppering all over his skin.

"You gonna fuck me or what, Buck?"

At that, Bucky went still. Then he chuckled and slowly pulled away, metal hand drifting back down Steve's spine as he replied, "That's the plan. Gotta take my time, though. You're gonna be so fuckin' tight..."

"So open me up," Steve demanded, tossing Bucky a heated look. He was nervous but he needed this, needed more, and he needed it now.

Bucky responded by spanking him hard twice in a row, grinning at the way Steve moaned and pushed himself towards the impact rather than away from it. "Jesus, Steve," Bucky intoned as he smoothed his palms over the quickly reddening flesh, admiring how pretty his ass looked like that, pushing and pulling his cheeks apart again. "You _that_ eager to get fucked?"

"You gonna tease me all night?" Steve shot back. "Cause I can just do it myself if -"

Steve's words died on a gasp that flew from his mouth, his body freezing and brain blanking as he felt... _what had he just felt_? He whipped his head around again and promptly blushed harder than he ever had before in his entire life upon realizing that what he'd felt was Bucky's _tongue_.

Bucky simply smirked at him. "Lemme try this. Stop me if you don't like it." Then he lowered his head back down and Steve watched him take another taste, his own mouth falling open and a sound escaping his throat that he'd never heard from himself before.

"Fuck," Steve gasped as he let his head fall forward again, unable to keep it up any longer under the onslaught of foreign sensations. It was a lot considering he'd never really played there before, and at first all he could do was grip the sheets tight and shudder and gasp as Bucky experimented with different strokes, motions and pressures. But once he got through that initial shock and relaxed into it, letting himself feel what Bucky was doing and not fighting it, that strangeness became a very new and curious form of pleasure that he found himself chasing.

Cheek pressed to the mattress, eyes closed and lips parted, strands of stray blonde hair falling into his eyes, Steve made quite the sight as he moaned softly at the mercy of Bucky's mouth. He was pulsing, throbbing, needing more and not getting it, pushing back to get more and his ass getting a hard, deliciously painful squeeze from a metal hand in response.

Steve started babbling, not even realizing it until his own voice hit his ears. "Bucky, fucking - _dammit_ , I'm -"

Bucky pulled away with a groan, spanking him again and growling, "You're so fuckin' impatient, Steve. Here I am trying to take my time and you're just fuckin' ready to go, aren't you? So bossy even when I've got you all spread out like this."

Steve looked over his shoulder again as Bucky rose up on his knees behind him. "Well maybe if you'd put your money where your mouth is -"

Bucky cut him off with an incredulous smirk. "Steve, we both know where my mouth just was and you sure fuckin' seemed to like it."

Then Bucky yet again took Steve by surprise by sliding two slick fingers over his only slightly loosened entrance, taking his breath away and making him curse into the mattress. Steve hadn't even seen or noticed him grabbing the lube, clearly too far gone already to notice such details, and the way that Bucky chuckled at him made him want to both deck him and beg for more.

"You just wait, Steve," Bucky murmured, draping himself over Steve's body as his fingers played around to relax him, get him used to the touch. He kissed the back of his shoulder and added, "It's gonna hurt a little at first but then fuck you're gonna feel so damn good it'll make you cry."

"You gonna do it or you gonna keep talkin'?" Steve asked breathlessly, knowing he was asking for it at this point but... ah, to hell with it.

Bucky, without missing a beat, slid one finger inside of him and hummed nonchalantly, "I don't know, Steve, you tell me."

Steve reeled from the sudden penetration, gasping and shaking and struggling under the unexpectedly deep touch. Bucky's tongue had paved the way, however, and he knew that this initial burn was unavoidable. But he'd had far worse in the past and damn he wanted to know what it was like to have more, to experience for himself what made Bucky so blissed out and out of his mind with pleasure.

"I know, I know," Bucky told him soothingly, kissing across his upper back and nuzzling the back of his neck. "Just try to relax. This part doesn't last long, I promise. Breathe for me, Steve."

And Steve did, just as he had ages ago when his asthma would wreak its havoc and Bucky would calm him down one breath at a time. He breathed in and out and slowly adjusted to the feeling, Bucky's finger working as slow and easy as he needed. Once he was relaxed and not fighting it anymore, resistance almost completely gone, Bucky started whispering words of praise into his skin and going deeper, and Steve let out a soft moan of pleasure for the first time.

"There you go," Bucky grinned, biting at him and soothing the nip with his tongue. "Feels good, doesn't it?"

Steve started rocking back to meet each thrust of Bucky's hand, pushing up on his hands to get better leverage. Once he was fully comfortable and the ache was gone, he groaned and demanded, "More, Buck, give me more."

Bucky answered not with words but with a second finger, starting the adjustment process all over again. But this time Steve was better prepared for it and relaxed into it earlier, accommodating the added girth and enjoying it much more now, especially with the way that Bucky kissed and praised him through it.

"You're so fuckin' tight, Steve, damn," Bucky marveled. "Gonna strangle my cock, aren't you?"

Head hanging low and body trembling around the sensations sparking through it, Steve moaned and replied breathlessly, "More, _fuck_ , I need more -"

"I'm gonna give you so much more," Bucky groaned as he curled his fingers once, twice, and then Steve shouted and stumbled off of his hands and knees as he quaked in pleasure. Bucky smiled like he'd just hit the damn jackpot because he had. " _There_ it is."

Then he did it again, and again, and again, showing Steve no mercy and leaving him gripping the sheets and writhing in pleasure that he'd never known before. It was like nothing else he'd ever felt and it was amazing, beyond his ability to even comprehend in those frantic, unbelievable moments. Bucky slipped in a third finger as Steve was all but sobbing into the mattress and fucking himself back on his fingers, the slight pain of it only heightening the pleasure and making him feel like he was splitting apart at the seams.

No wonder Bucky loved this so much.

Bucky's metal hand slid around to grip the top of Steve's hair as he quickened his rhythm, Steve rolling back to match it and rubbing his cock against the mattress in the process. He was moaning louder and less coherently than he ever had before, out of his mind as Bucky made sure to hit that spot every single time, and he could feel his orgasm building higher and higher with each thrust.

"Go on Steve," Bucky murmured as he sucked a deep mark into his neck, sounding breathless and dazed himself. "Come for me. I can feel how bad you need it."

Two more thrusts of Bucky's hand and Steve was seeing stars, making a mess on himself and the bed as he came so hard he almost blacked out for a moment. Whatever he had been expecting or hoping for... this had dramatically surpassed it. And he'd only had Bucky's fingers so far.

Bucky took care of him in the aftermath, gently removing his fingers and carefully rolling him to his back. Steve was little more than a large lump of useless and boneless limbs, eyes shut until he felt a warm and familiar tongue licking up the mess on his stomach. He looked down and watched as Bucky cleaned him up, Steve still half-hard and more than a little sore but he didn't care and he certainly wasn't done yet.

Then Bucky grinned as he made his way to Steve's lips, kissing him shamelessly deeply and it felt filthy but Steve loved it. He cupped Bucky's face with both hands and they got lost in it, Bucky grinding himself against Steve's hip and groaning at the friction, his own needs having been ignored for so long.

"So," Bucky grinned after the kiss broke, Steve gently pulling his hair free from its bun so that it hung loose around his shoulders. "What do you think?"

"I think..." Steve grinned and then flipped them over, Bucky's back hitting the mattress and Steve straddling his hips, "that I'm gonna like this."

"Think I am too," Bucky smiled back, blindly reaching for the lube in the sheets as Steve leaned down to kiss him some more. It took a bit but he finally found it, handing it over to Steve after they pulled away from their kiss panting.

Steve maintained eye contact with Bucky as he popped it open, reaching behind himself to slather Bucky in it. Bucky didn't lay idle, wrapping his right hand around Steve's cock to stroke him lazily while Steve did the same to him, and they managed to distract one another long enough that Steve eventually had to growl and push Bucky's hand away and ask, "We gonna do this or what?"

"Waitin' on you, beautiful," Bucky shot back, and the word choice threw Steve for a loop. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or to blush, and in the end he opted to smile crookedly and glance down before returning to the task at hand, lifting up and lining them up. He knew that this was gonna be a lot more to take than a few fingers but he was ready and he wanted more, wanted to give Bucky everything he could possibly want in a lover.

With that in mind, Steve began to slowly sink down and take Bucky in, and as prepared as he thought he was.... he truly wasn't. His mouth dropped open and it was hard to breathe again, eyes shut and brows furrowed and body straining as it stretched to accommodate the considerable intrusion. Bucky made it look so easy, he thought as sweat formed on his brow.

"Easy, Steve," Bucky murmured, hands running up and down Steve's back and sides to soothe him, gaze almost reverent as he watched. "Just keep breathing. You feel fuckin' amazing."

"You feel... big," Steve admitted with a breathless chuckle, sliding down another inch. "Fuck..."

Bucky bit his lip and forced himself to remain completely still, no small feat as Steve's warmth engulfed him more and more deeply with each passing second. "There you go, just a little bit more..."

Steve let out the breath he'd been holding for far too long when he was finally fully seated, filled to the brim and breathing hard as he let both hands fall to Bucky's chest and his head hang as he breathed deep and heavy. When he'd nearly caught his breath, Bucky gently pulled him down for a kiss that they both melted into as Steve stayed motionless otherwise, relaxing and adjusting to having another man inside of him.

It was an intimate moment that was made all the sweeter by how tightly Steve clung to Bucky and how attentive Bucky was, kissing and caressing him all over in an impeccable display of patience. Eventually they were forehead to forehead, breathing into the negligible space between them when Steve gave the first tiny, careful roll of his hips. Bucky's breath hitched and Steve did it again, a little deeper this time as the feeling grew less foreign, and slowly but surely he worked himself up and down until he'd created a real, if still careful and slow, rhythm.

And _God_ it was truly something else. Being filled like that and watching Bucky be overcome by pleasure as he laid beneath him, hair spread out on the pillows and kiss-swollen lips the prettiest shade of red Steve had ever seen... why hadn't they done this before?

As Steve's last twinges of discomfort faded, he pulled away and sat up straighter, rocking back and forth and trying out a few angles until he found one that hit him just right and made his head fall back as a long, deep moan left his mouth. That same mind-bending burst of pleasure he'd felt with Bucky's fingers came back with each thrust and it spurred him on, moving faster and truly riding Bucky now.

And Steve wasn't the only one in bliss. Bucky's hands were all over Steve as they moved together, on his legs and his thighs and his waist and chest, eyes glued to his sweat-slick form and rolling muscles, the furrow of his brow and the way that his blonde hair fell into his face. He truly was gorgeous, Bucky thought as he watched Steve's hand slip down to grip himself, only to get snatched and yanked away by a cool metal fist.

Steve's eyes flew open and he fell still, and before he knew it Bucky had them flipped over. Suddenly Steve was on his back and underneath Bucky's grinning face, their eyes locked as Bucky purred, "I don't think so, Steve. My cock's makin' you come, nothing else." He punctuated his words with a sharp, deep thrust that sent Steve's head flying back, crying out in sheer pleasure as Bucky took the reins and started having his way with him. " _God_ you really are fuckin' beautiful, Steve," Bucky marveled as he watched Steve fully give himself over, letting Bucky fuck him just the way that he craved.

One hand clinging to Bucky's back and the other clutching his long, messy hair, Steve moaned loudly and mindlessly as Bucky drove into him relentlessly. There were no words spoken between them, just breathless noises and groans, the sound of skin on skin and sloppy kisses filling the warm air around them, and later Steve would wonder if he'd ever felt as free as he did in those incredible moments.

When it all began to come to a head, Bucky pressed his forehead to Steve's, his hair falling in curtains around them as they kissed frantically and teetered on the edge together. Then Bucky gasped, " _God_ Steve, I'm gonna -"

"Do it," Steve groaned, reaching up with one hand and brushing his hair back, holding it there so he could look into his eyes. "Come inside me, Buck, I want it."

Bucky growled at those words and hung on just long enough for Steve to let go first, coming untouched for the second time that night and spilling between them with a silent cry, all gasps and back arched and face a beautiful picture of ecstasy. Bucky followed right behind him, the sight of Steve like that pushing him over until he was spent, the two of them clinging to one another through every last aftershock and moving together until it was over and they were deep in the afterglow.

Steve enjoyed having the weight of Bucky on top of him, his body warm and loose and stretched out above him, and Steve was tempted to simply fall asleep like that, using Bucky as a blanket. But Bucky moved before Steve could nod off, lifting up his head from Steve's neck and carefully sliding out of him with a sigh before flopping over, taking Steve with him so that they laid side by side and face to face, limbs entangled and holding one another.

Steve leaned in and kissed Bucky softly, smiling as he pulled away and muttered, " _Wow_."

Bucky grinned and let out a breathless laugh. "All of that and you say _wow_."

Steve laughed back, shaking his head. "Honestly... I don't think there's any words that can really do justice to what I'm thinking."

"Try your best," Bucky grinned back. "Can't be worse than wow."

Smile stuck to his face, Steve took a moment and enjoyed the view as he mulled it over. He ran his fingers through Bucky's hair, tucking the strands behind his ear and rubbing his thumb along Bucky's jawline, wondering what could possibly express what he was feeling.

He felt like his burden had been lifted from his shoulders. It would be back in time, he knew, but for the night at least he felt free. He and Bucky had shared a day he'd never forget, from the festival to their dance and then... some of the most mind blowing pleasure Steve had ever known.

They'd just had their first real date, he realized, and he hadn't even known it until that moment. Bucky had taken him out on the town, given him his first dance under the stars, then brought him back home to make love to him. He couldn't imagine anyone possibly knowing him any better, anyone else alive having the ability to pinpoint what it was he needed and provide it so seemingly effortlessly. It was second nature - _they_ were second nature - and he realized there were was only a handful of words that could possibly be worthy of this tender, quiet moment between them.

He smiled softly and looked Bucky in the eyes, his voice a deep but quiet near-whisper as he told him, "I love you." Bucky blinked in surprise, but it only lasted for a beat and then he was smiling wide. Steve added quickly but lightly, "Not that you don't already know that, and haven't always known that. S'like saying the sky's blue at this point, but... yeah."

Bucky licked his lips and lazily ran his metal fingers along Steve's spine, his expression the very picture of peace and contentment. "Well... that's a hell of a lot better than wow."

Steve rolled his eyes and scoffed. "You know what, Buck..."

"Shut up," Bucky grinned, moving closer and leaning in for another kiss. Just before their lips touched he breathed, "Love you too, punk." Then they kissed, and nothing could have possibly made the moment any sweeter.

Eventually they would drag themselves out of bed to clean themselves up and get ready for bed, Bucky teasing Steve about how sore he was and how much more he'd feel it in the morning, the two men carrying on as they ever had until sleep called their names. That night Steve slept in Bucky's arms, using him like a body pillow with his head on Bucky's chest, curled around him and sleeping soundly, saving his worries and his troubles for another day.

He could deal with all of that, he decided, so long as he always got to come home to Bucky in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> 
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